Extended Violin Diary

Happy New Year 2012!

2012-01-01T18:28:00.005-05:00

I have planned to post more "Beijing" stories and pictures, but again, my life as a mom and other things got in my way :) My family is visiting Boston for the New Years visiting family friends, so finally I have time to post some old pictures from October here. The first one is with the inventor of FM synthesis, John Chowning in Beijing, who was the featured guest composer at MusicaAcoustica Festival 2012 in Beijing which we were invited. It was French composer/organizer Benoit Granier who found me and contacted me to go to Beijing for the first time to perform and give lectures at the Beijing Central Conservatory.

While in Beijing I met very nice people, including an American journalist named James Tiscione, who wrote a feature article of me in Global Times, an English paper in Beijing. James, who is originally from Yonkers (I think he said), has lived in China for several years now and impressively speaks Chinese fluently. He took me around to Hutongs in Beijing, and we had a great time walking around. Here he is treating me to a sour apple candy which was yummy! Maybe not so yummy (?) since I didn't taste it, but here are some interesting culture merger :) "Tea Coffee" and "Mojito Milk Shake"!

My impression of Beijing was that there were so many cars which maybe driven by people who were on bicycles until recently, so it is pretty chaotic on the streets and you have to really watch out for yourself :) The country made me think of what it must have been like in the old "wild-wild West" in California, when everyone went for new opportunities. My father, who was born in former Manchuria as a son of Japanese pediatrician pre WWII, and have been invited to China many times as a specialist of solar energy, said that "In China, everything happens everywhere, all the time!" and I think that's pretty much correct :)

2011 was a very fruitful year for me in terms of work, and I have several projects that I am currently working on. The very immediate project is for Maestro Pierre-Yves Artaud, the great "Dean" of France's flute society. Prof. Artaud teaches at the Conservatoire in Paris, and the founder of Orchestre de Flûte Français. This is a piece for solo flute (Artaud), violin (me) and interactive computer using IRCAM's latest software OMAX, and my bowing motion sensor "Augmented Violin" also developed at IRCAM, and the flute ensemble.

My children, especially my daughter is distraught that there is NO SNOW anywhere this year :) Her Christmas present wish included "Let it snow, let it snow..." We shall see.... :)

China mega-post Part-I

2011-11-13T21:12:00.000-05:00

I was in Beijing from October 23-31. Finally now I'm little more relaxed, I get to post some pictures and stories from there. My October was really hectic for me; As I wrote in my previous post, I had two premieres within a week: Eigenspace, my new interactive graphic collaboration, I-Quadrifoglio, my first string quartet premiere with the Cassatt String Quartet. Then I prepared a new composition written for me by French composer Marc Battier for violin and electronics entitled Double Suns, to be premiered at the Musicacoustica Festival held at Beijing Central Conservatory of Music. I had to learn Marc's piece within a week, since it was just finished :) which suited me as I had absolutely no time before the I-Quadrifoglio premiere!

On October 22, I left for Beijing from Newark, a 9-day trip leaving my two children with my husband. The day I was leaving, my daughter who is physically very fit and hardly ever sick, decided to come down with high fever. She usually goes down very deep like this, but comes out of in within a day, which fortunately she did according to my husband and she didn't miss any school. Nonetheless, it was a little unnerving to leave them in this state... The flight to Beijing was full, with the longest line for the first class and business class that I have ever seen. It looked almost as long as the economy line which I was in. The flight plan showed that we were flying straight up from New York through Canada, over the north pole, and down through Siberia to China. It was the first time I've done that.

As we were landing I took some pictures from the plane: a lot of blue and red roofs of factories (I assume) but these two colors symbolize China. Here I come! Then I was picked up along with a group from Lyon, GRAME. Here are composer/architect Pierre Jaffrennou, formidable percussionist living in Lyon Yi-Ping Yang, and composer Max Bruckert also from Lyon, waiting for the car at the airport. Not just because of these people from Lyon, but with others from France and Chinese professors who are Francophone, I think I spoke more French than English in China throughout my stay.
From the airport, as we approached central Beijing, you are struck with avenues after avenues with gigantic new architecture. Just imagine twice the size of New York's Time Warner building, and that is standing next to each other on both sides for miles and miles, by streets twice the size of Park Avenue. That's Beijing!

After hurriedly checked into the hotel, I was brought straight to the rehearsal to meet Marc Battier at the Beijing Central Conservatory. The new piece he wrote for me, Double Suns, was to be premiered the next evening at the Opening Concert of the Musicaoucstica Festival. The Opening Concert was entitled Voyage Apollonian, adopting my composition for interactive graphics I was performing in the concert (graphics by Ken Perlin, NYU). The next morning I staggered downstairs of my 3-star business hotel restaurant for breakfast: my first Chinese food buffet, which I ate too much and lasted for two-meals worth :)

Regrouping again :)

2011-11-12T18:24:00.003-05:00

Long hiatus since July. I just had a very busy fall season, constantly feeling like a hamster in a wheel :) Now I am finally having to sleep normally, regrouping, think and listen again, without constant crises and pressure one after another. It is a VERY welcome and much needed state of mind :)

I realize my last post was July, when I came back from Japan. The editor of STRINGS magazine, Greg Olwell, read my previous post about my visit to Japan, especially concerning teaching and meeting with Japanese students in the aftermath of the Fukushima nuclear disaster, and asked me to contribute to the STRINGS magazine blog, which they called "Music as Medicine".

In the fall, I had two big new works premieres. One is a commission from Harvestworks, an interactive audio video work with Japanese movie director and media artist, Tomoyuki Kato. I met him through his brother, Prof. Kazuhiko Kato, a renown computer science professor at Tsukuba University in Japan. He came to my lecture in July there, and over the internet, he introduced me to his brother. Mr. Tomoyuki Kato is widely known for his stunning visuals and designs expos, industrial presentations, and theme parks. My new work is called Eigenspace, using work that I did this summer with Nicolas Rasamimanana at IRCAM, using "eigenvalue" of the bowing movements. It is related to kind of inertia of the movements my bowing and musical expression generate. It is a new mode of interaction for me, which I am now exploring intensively. Mr. Kato also uploaded his "director's cut" version on YouTube; it shows a bit of rehearsal images of the project. Eigenspace was premiered at Roulette in Brooklyn, and we are planning on expanding it to an evening-long event in the future.

Another big project for me this fall was a commission from the Cassatt String Quartet (through the generous support of the Fromm Foundation Award), "I-Quadrifoglio" for string quartet and interactive computer. The picture here is the Cassatt Quartet rehearsing "I-Quadrifoglio". I so wished that I had chronicled my compositional process and progress. This is my first composition in recent years, which I was not involved as a performer myself; I had to notate my musical intentions very clearly, which I have become complacent with, since I have been writing for myself most of the time. For the four string players of Cassatt, I was conceited that I, a violinist myself, know what I wrote and what I mean. It was only when I was confronted with all kinds of musical questions regarding articulations and expressions (for example "what do you mean by an accent with a dot, is this stronger or shorter than the... " etc) I realized how much I didn't know. This was a going-back-to-school experience for me, which I am very grateful to have the most patient and generous teachers as the Cassatt Quartet! The premiere was at the Symphony Space, and there was a pre-concert cocktail/interview along with other composers on the program, venerable Judith Shatin and Sebastian Currier, both master composers. Although I felt a little intimidated :) I very much enjoyed that it was the very first time I could actually enjoy a glass of wine just before my performance, since I'm NOT playing! In this picture I'm setting their computer up just before the performance. It is a totally hands-free, no click-track or foot-pedal used, interactive composition, which fortunately didn't fail at the performance! I'm so humbled that this is my first string quartet ever, and I was fortunate enough to be given this opportunity.

A week after the "I-Quadrifoglio" premiere, I left for Beijing, China for the first time, to participate in Musicacoustica Festival, invited by French composer and organizer of TIMI Modern Music Ensemble's director, Benoit Granier. I returned on October 31st, followed by family obligations and some grant proposal deadlines. Now that I have a bit of breathing time, I am planning a "Beijing mega-post" and photos in the coming few days :) Or so I promise!

Back in Paris, encore visit to IRCAM

2011-07-25T15:44:00.006-04:00

After Tokyo, I briefly returned to New York to pick up my kids, and arrived in Paris this weekend. I'm visiting IRCAM again, following up with our work together and discuss new developments. Frédéric Bevilacqua, the head of the Real Time Musical Interaction Team and I, met last Monday in New York, the day after we both arrived from our original home countries: Fred from Lausanne, me from Tokyo. Fred invited me for "VIP only" MOMA opening for "Talk to me" exhibition, where IRCAM's "MO", Modular Musical Objects, which include my bowing motion sensor "mini-MO" (the smallest and the latest model) won the first prize in a competition and is now displayed there. We were both spectacularly jetlagged that we were wide wake :)

Then Frédéric went on to visit his old school UC Irvine (Fred has PhD in Biomedical Optics!) giving lectures, and returned to Paris today, joined us for lunch practically right off the airplane. What a guy! :) Then he went to an appointment at IRCAM... I on the other hand, herded my kids through JFK where our Air France flight was about 2+1/2 hrs late, but somehow pulled through since my kids slept through the flight. I admittedly was quite tired, since my jet-lag from Tokyo/NYC was never cured :) decided to enjoy Air France's free Champagne and free red wine, and happily went to sleep. Only a few hours later, woke up feeling so sick! Bad decision, and my French husband scolded me later "Don't mix Champagne and red wine... if you have Champagne, drink only Champagne all the way!" Oh well I did learn my lesson LOL! All is well, and my children are with their French grandparents who very kindly are keeping them so I could work at IRCAM staying in Paris, and of course, for their second summer of complete "French immersion". And my brother-in-law kindly let me stay in his apartment near Republique where his family is away in Madagascar. I can walk to IRCAM from this quiet part of town. Here are my poor kids, waiting while I was looking for our luggage at CDG (there was Air France strike, and everything like baggage collection took a very Loooong time :)

Here is Nicolas and I, Nicolas Rasamimanana, my formidable collaborator at IRCAM who now runs his own NPO, Phonotonic, a 'spin off' of IRCAM pursuing individual projects. He said he might incorporate by the end of the year, to go "for-profit"! :)

Nicolas is a violinist also, and such a wonderful mathematician and scientist, that when we are together, what I do is to start saying something, and he goes, "Yes, that's right..." or "That's something I wanted to do anyway..." Although he speaks fantastic English, we really don't have to say much, and we could communicate with motions, music, or mime :) I count my blessings being able to work with him. I discuss what I need from the sensor data, and he starts talking to himself programming, and I just listen to his murmuring like music :) Then we try, then he programs, repeat.... In short half a day, we got already so much done. We also tried our scenarios for Fukusuke Nakamura, Kabuki actor wearing the sensor while he dances, by looking at the movies and data I made in Tokyo two weeks ago. (See the last post)

And of course, I'm in Paris, so my first lunch out with Nicolas was Salade de Gésiers.... I was dreaming about this :) Nicolas had crêpe, and we both had Cidre... :)

My monumental day with Fukusuke Nakamura (中村福助）

2011-07-15T13:18:00.013-04:00

I have been visiting Japan almost for the week, giving lectures and performances here in Tokyo. I decided to do this, leaving behind my family in NYC, after hearing that young Japanese artists and students are feeling rather depressed and helpless in the aftermath of the nuclear disaster in Fukushima. I wanted to at least give some hope and joy of being creative in a unique way, and by all accounts, from the letters I received from enthusiastic students at my lectures saying "so encouraging, so much fun, astonishing, flabbergasted" (!) I am so happy that I came back.

A few years ago, I had an earth-shattering, shocking experience seeing the extraordinary performance by one of the foremost Kabuki actors of our time, Fukusuke Nakamura, (Japanese here) who gave an avant-garde performance dancing with a pianist playing Chopin (see "Where am I from?"). Yesterday, I had one of the most inspiring meeting with this extraordinary artist. I visited him in the backstage of Shinbashi Performance Theater (新橋演舞場), in between his Kabuki performances. I was introduced to him by Today's top Shamisen virtuoso Mojibe Tokiwazu 5th, the head of the House of Tokiwazu（常磐津文字兵衛５世）whom I collaborated a few years ago when I curated Music from Japan Festival in New York. Mojibe is the most astonishing artist; no one can be more traditional, yet he does completely outrageously adventurous activities. (see his Shamisen Rock video!) I can't say how much I respect his open-mindedness; we worked together on interactive computer with Shamisen and Violin.

Fukusuke, a Japanese celebrity, a theater actor as well as a movie star, is one of the foremost Japanese Kabuki actor in the female role (Onna-kata 女形) recognized over the world. I was quite star-struck at first, but I immediately realized he is a true artist completely free of pretension, who is tremendously open-minded and genuinely interested in all forms of creativity. He was wonderful to speak with, about all issues regarding the very essence to performance. We are in very different fields, but I think we connected instantly at the artistic level. We spoke about the 'flow' of performance, 'preparations' gestures, what is the 'quality' of movement, and how one must remain connected to the tradition, as well as being experimental. I wished that I recorded everything he talked about; Fukusuke comes from a long line of the prestigious House of Nakamura, the family who has been Kabuki actors since the 1700s. He spoke about many of his legendary relatives and how they worked, their discipline and what he learned from them; many of his relatives were given the titles of Living National Treasures by the Japanese government.

The picture is Fukusuke wearing one of the motion sensors I'm working with, developed at IRCAM in Paris. I took Fukusuke's hand gesture data, and let him try out some interactive computer music with his hand. I was very happy that he seemed genuinely interested in collaborating together, and he wrote so in his official blog (in Japanese) , and more pictures here too !!!

Off topic: obsessions :)

2011-07-08T00:40:00.001-04:00

This post is not related anywhere near Subharmonics, but I think I have an addictive personality. From childhood my mother used to complain that I would get into one thing and ONLY one thing, like food, book, toy etc. going through phases. I still haven't recovered from this 'sickness' which continues to my adulthood. Maybe because of this obsessive personality, I get to do such esoteric thing like Subharmonics LOL!

To take an example, I watch same movies over and over and over again, actually ONE SCENE of a movie over and over again. There is this movie called "Evil Under the Sun", an all-star cast Agatha Christie movie starring Peter Ustinov. In this 1982 movie, English/French actress Jane Birkin has a scene towards the end where she dramatically changes her demeanor and especially clothing, making a spectacular entrance. I am so obsessed with this scene, with the accompanying march-like music, I believe by Cole Porter arranged by John Lanchbery. Peter Ustinov tapping his hand and his feet with the tune, and the tempo slows down in crescendo changing into more jazzy music, and Jane Birkin's character descends the spiral staircase while everyone watches her open-mouthed in awe. (if you have netflix, it's about 1hr 48 min)

I think what I'm obsessed with is the TEMPO change. It's the effect of this music and the scene that are so perfect together. I'm not giving away the plot since this is a mystery, but for some reason, I can watch this scene, over and over again :) I'm curious, what are other people's silver-screen obsessions?

July 4th :) and "I-Quadrifoglio"

2011-07-04T16:30:00.002-04:00

To my complete surprise, in today's New York Times there is an yearly ad placed by the Carnegie Corporation entitled "100 immigrants: Pride of America", which I am included as one of them. A friend alerted me on my Facebook page. (I'm right next to the word "America" on the right side, middle of the page)

It is such an honor, and I am so grateful to the Vilcek Foundation whose founder, Jan Vilcek himself is listed right next to me as well in this page. It was the Vilceks, who sponsored and presented my solo recital in May, recognizing my work as an immigrant artist.

In the meantime on earth :) I went shopping with my daughter this morning for all-American (or trying to be) July 4th dinner, which I imagine consists of hamburgers (although we can't barbeque on the upper west side NYC apartment) corn on cobs etc. I haven't gotten beer which is a huge oversight. (but we got wine)

AND in the meantime I'm very busy preparing for visiting the Cassatt String Quartet tomorrow morning to do some basic soundcheck for my new commissioned work "I-Quadrifoglio" for string quartet and interactive computer, which will premiere in October in NYC. It would be absolutely my first composition, which I will NOT be performing myself! Although the first violinist, Muneko Otani and I studied with the same teacher and we have been a long-time friend. I know her violin playing and how she would phrase music. As for the title, it was very simple; Muneko emailed me one day almost in panic "I need the title!!" since they were doing a presentation at an Apple Store in Manhattan. Everything Apple starts with "I", and I happened to be browsing at hybrid cars (!) one of which was Alfa-Romeo. Quartet /4-leaf clover + Interactive = I-Quadrifoglio !!! A lot of times, title of my pieces actually start to take over my imagination and this one probably will :) And not to worry, for the premiere, I will have more 'legitimate' program notes and the origin of this title :):)

It is very VERY interesting for me to be working on this project, as processing a string quartet is quite monumental compared to processing just one violin as I usually do. It has already been done by many composers, but I guess what would be quite unique about mine is, that I am trying to make this work completely "hands-free", that is, using absolutely no computer operator on or off stage, but with absolutely no pre-recorded materials, just real-time processing.

Recording JanMaricana

2011-06-28T22:25:00.004-04:00

So I played a duo concert "Hue for Two" with Stephen Gosling last Saturday, to a standing-room-only audience thanks to the extraordinary work of my publicist Jonathan Slaff; he got the New York Times weekend listing which also received 'starred' recommendation, so I actually had some audiences who were tourists from out of town just came out of curiosity. I appreciated very much playing not just among my usual NYC circle of "contemporary music crowd". (photo by Lee Wexler)

I also for the first time, tried my hand in fund-raising through United States Artists. It was a very educational experience, but in the hindsight, it was very very hard to both do the fund-raising AND performing such a demanding program. I'm not sure what I should do in the future regarding this issue.

Today I went into a studio at Harvestworks, a media arts center in NYC, to record one of my newest pieces called "JanMaricana for Subharmonics" which uses my newest Subharmonic 5th. It was composed for my solo concert in May, presented by the Vilcek Foundation which support immigrant scientists and artists; I was so enormously grateful for their complete support that I decided to write and dedicate a work for Jan and Marica Vilcek borrowing their name, and even put in some Smetana/Dvorak-ish Czech harmonies in the piece (they are of Czech origin). By incorporated Subharmonic 5th into this JanMaricana for the very first time, I thought the work will be known as the very first composition in the history of the violin that uses the Subharmonic 5th, also my deep gratitude to Jan and Marica Vilcek for recognizing the significance of my work.

I have this pathetically fatalistic notion that every time before I get onto a plane, I make sure to leave my latest everything current LOL! I thought that I should document this recording of JanMaricana before I fly to Japan in a few weeks, and while I still can play this very difficult piece. :) Here is my finger after 2 hours of recording; I also took the sound samples for my other new work, "Voyage Apollonian" which was also premiered at the Vilcek concert last month; I will have to process it and post-produce it, but now I have the sound source. I also recorded the samples for English composer Andrew Lovett, whom I'm collaborating. The whole session took less than 2+1/2 hrs, of which more than 30 minutes were spent on adjusting the microphone placements. My wonderful sound engineer is Paul Geluso, who has been recording most of my albums as I trust his ears. We listen and listen until we like the violin sounds, in every register. It really is a great pleasure working with him as he understands what I like.

Here is Paul adjusting the microphones in XY placement; he also put a third microphone below aiming from a different direction. We spent a long time adjusting the balance of the two tracks.

In Copenhagen and temporary home of my blog :)

2011-06-15T20:58:00.002-04:00

Well, I just logged into the blogger.com using Danish version of Google, and managed it :) I'm here on a multi-media collaborative workshop project by NYC media artist Toni Dove.

I have been on hiatus yet again from my blog, but at the moment I have temporarily immigrated my blog to United States Artists, a NPO I was invited to join; it is an artists' advocacy for fund raising organization, connecting artists directly to the audience and philanthropists. Next week, I'm self-producing a recital of violin and piano, with prime NYC pianist Stephen Gosling entitled "Hue for Two". For the first time, raising my own funding.

Please visit my page at Hue for Two. You can see my demo video there, as well as daily (I'm trying :) updates (click on "updates" below our picture/video). Today I just posted a note about Debussy's violin sonata and a 1-cent clue on violin practicing :):)

If you like my temporary blog, I appreciate any pledge (you won't be charged unless I reach my goal) and now your every $ has a matching fund from USArtists!

The picture above is a copy of the first page of Debussy's sonata, which belonged to my last teacher at Juilliard, Joseph Fuchs.

Longest hiatus, back with a bang :)

2011-05-14T10:15:00.002-04:00

So I didn't post for two long month--I wrote sometime ago that I was alone in Paris last summer while being an resident at IRCAM, when I had all the time to myself, thanks to my French in-laws who kept my children. Back in NYC, with daily life of the mother of two (7 and 10 year olds) plus everything else that I do, prevents me from low-priority activities such as blogging :)

So here it is, the New York Times feature just came out today, a wonderful effort by one of the best journalists I had the privilege working with, Matthew Gurewitsch. I really don't know how he managed to put this kind of thorough efforts, taking on such an esoteric artist like myself. Matthew really is an artist himself, whose integrity I truly respect. He asked so many good questions that also helped me define what I do, as "disseminating" and "publicizing" have never been my strong points. He managed to explain correctly two very difficult and different areas of my creative activities accessibly to the public, one in Subharmonics and anther in interactive computer.

One thing he breezed through, which he stated in the article, that I have now Subharmonic Octave, Second, Third and the FIFTH. It is this FIFTH that I have been working on and off for several years, for those of you who read my previous enigmatic posts about it probably knew :) Yes, the elusive 5th is here. Actually I also do have diminish 5th and 4th, as a deviation from the 5th, which is my latest of the latest, but didn't make it into the article :) I am still curious if there is a FOURTH as it stands alone, not a deviation of the 5th; what I mean 'deviation', is that I slightly move my bow towards the fingerboard while I play Subharmonic Fifth, then I get these two: diminish 5th and perfect fourth.

Oh well, that is still to come.... :) For those of you violinists who are trying my technique, try the fifth! :) It came very difficult to me but everyone's arm is different, and I suspect it comes quite easy for some of you.

When life stops

2011-03-11T20:55:00.000-05:00

As most of you know Japan suffered one of the biggest earthquake in history today. I happened to wake up in the middle of the night in New York, and found someone posting on Facebook and tried to call my parents. All phones and cellphones were out, but eventually my mother emailed me, and my family is all fine. It turns out, internet was the lifeline.

After finding out my family's safety I tried to resume my work and life, practicing my Subharmonics again. I kept watching Japanese realtime internet TV and couldn't really focus. But life goes on, but I am rethinking our family's preparedness; I should beef up our emergency kits....

I did practice almost 2 hours on Subharmonics, and got other work done. It was relieving to know my parents were safe. The disturbing thing about my last note, the one that I'm so struggling to get, is that there is almost no sign of it! Others are getting better and better, and now I'm trying to artificially put a pressure on myself, to make sure I can produce them under any circumstances :)

Life goes on, work goes on.

Déjà vu

2011-03-10T20:47:00.000-05:00

For the past month and a half, I'm intensely working on the new Subharmonics that I am finally getting. A few weeks ago we took our kids on vacation but I even took my practice violin along so that I won't forget it. If I let go for more than a day, I'm afraid I lose it.

This is purely a kinetic exercise that intellectually speaking, quite boring. I just have to repeat my motions over, and over, and over again until I have it. These days, every morning for solid one hour and half, I am doing only one thing and one thing only. Practicing this new Subharmonics. It is getting quite reliable now, and as said in my previous entries I need SEVEN semitones, of which I already have six. The last one, the open G string, is the most difficult to control. I am "inching towards it" quite literally. That is to say, I am putting my left hand finger very very close to the end of the fingerboard so it is almost open G, but not quite. I am trying to get used to the feeling on my right arm how it would feel like on the open G, although I still can't do it. I am seeing the day is coming very close. I can already do it about 60% of the time with this "cheat mode" with stopping the left hand finger very close to the open G.

This exercise is oh so boring, so much so that I need some entertainment. CNN these days is too disturbing about the news about Libya, so I'm watching movies that I have watched many times before, so I don't really have to watch it. With occasional resting of my right arm, I can watch "Apollo 13", "The Young Victoria", "My Cousin Vinny". "Analyze That" (or "This"), etc. I need to occupy my mind but not so much so that I need to pay attention to the film. When I work, I usually need some kind of distraction. If the TV or movie is on, I usually don't remember much, which my husband laughs about. I can watch the same movies over and over again since I'm not really watching :)

Setting up

2011-03-08T23:05:00.000-05:00

This morning, I went to the home of Muneko Otani, the 1st violinists of the Cassatt Quartet. I'm writing a new work for them for quartet and interactive computer, and they just got all the gear -- programs, microphones and audio interface -- so I went there to set up and check everything.

My new pieces are in different stages of development, one in particular, in connection to my *new* Subharmonics is especially interesting to me. I need to compose at the same time I'm just finding out how to control this new technique. The new Subharmonics arrive to me by accident. One day I hear something and I go, "Oh no, you've got to be kidding me!", which turns out, it isn't. I try to repeat the *accident*, and give up when I'm unable to do so. Then, when I do get to repeat the sound production I go "Ah ha!", try to hang onto that repeated *accident* and remember how I felt. Then I forget. Then I try again. It has been like this for the last several years to get this new Subharmonics. Finally, it is no longer an accident, but still quite unstable. In order (for me) to use it in a composition, I have to be able to play it 200% of the time - well, 100% of the time... i.e. I cannot afford NOT to be able to play it. It has to be on demand, and that is the hardest thing about Subharmonics. ANYBODY can play Subharmonics. But to control it, you need a very precise bowing technique.

I still don't have my last, 7th note... I got six out of seven. But I'm inching towards it.

Listening to Pictures

2011-03-05T11:14:00.003-05:00

Right now, I'm involved intensely in several projects that are totally different. One in particular is very different from my usual creative process. It is an interactive graphics work, where I'm interacting with a short movie. I started this project inspired by the complex and imaginative beauty of this visuals, created by my friend Ken Perlin at NYU.

I have worked in collaboration with the visuals in the past, but this particular one, seems to dictate the music. I look at it, and each section or frame evoke sounds to me. I am "listening" to the pictures.

Not much can be said at this point, and I will follow up later.

The new Subharmonics is still stalled at six out of seven notes I need. One more note to go still, but it's still not coming.

Today is my father's 78th birthday. His name is Ken-ichi Kimura, and he is a Professor Emeritus at Waseda University in Architecture. He is the Japanese pioneer of Solar Energy. If you go to his page I linked here, and see "Japanese Vernacular Houses with a focus to energy conserving technologies" you can see how Japanese old houses used natural energy to be ECO-friendly. I grew up in a solar house, one of the first experimental house in Japan called "Kimura Solar House". He studied at MIT where he married my mother who was at Radcliff at the time. Both of them were on Fullbright Fellowship, and I have to say, that I know I was conceived in Boston! :)

Hunting New Subharmonics in a Cave :)

2011-03-02T20:14:00.007-05:00

So I have taken the longest hiatus on my blog in a long time, only posting once in February. Those of you who have been reading this blog maybe wondering what has been happening :) Well, it's multiple of things, but mainly it is my vanity that I wanted to come out with a BANG! While ago, I hinted that I have a new Subharmonics interval; I so far have Subharmonic Octave (I play a note and I can get an octave below without changing the tuning or moving my left hand finger). I also have Subharmonic 3rd (I play a note and I get minor third below the note I play, again without moving a finger on the fingerboard). I have minor 2nd, which is just F#, a half semitone below open G, by slightly modifying the way I play.

For the longest time, I wished I had this new interval I'm working on, since musically it is significant. I really don't mean to be secretive, and I WILL introduce it in my concert in May. It has been a looooong time coming, several years in fact, that I tried, stopped, tried and come back to it yet again. Last summer, while at IRCAM, I allocated a bit of my time trying to work on it again, quite seriously. I have in fact, documented my progress (or non-progress... I couldn't quite do it), by video taping myself.

Just about a month+ ago, I took it up again. This time, I have been absolutely determined to get it. And, I DID. I am not quite yelling out on the top of the mountain yet, since I still don't have it quite under control. I have been practicing very hard, just doing the exercise. It reminds me very much when I first came up with the Subharmonic Octave in 1992 (I didn't publicly introduce it in a concert until 1994, when I was absolutely solid and was good enough for performance). In 1992, I was a student at Juilliard, and that winter, I remember it was cold like what we had this year in NYC, and I had no social life. I didn't have a boyfriend (or maybe he was far away :) and I had my time all to myself. I sat in my small studio on West 70th at Broadway, practicing Subharmonics over and over again like a maniac. I was in a CAVE :)

Now so many years later, I am finding myself in a cave again, in the same obsessive mode, with a bit more experience and knowledge about how to produce Subharmonics. I wake up in the morning, I try for half an hour--my arm gets tired and I stop before it gets tired. Usually my concentration is shot after 30-40 minutes anyway, so I take a break. My children demand my attention, which is not exactly an unwelcome distraction. ("Mommy can you peel me more apples, pleeeese, NOW?!") Sometimes my exercise gets so boring I listen to CNN while I do it, or have Google Earth and roll the mouse so I fly over the world, like Sahara desert slowly (I know it sounds sick... :) I repeat this in the afternoon a few times, then in the evening. Repeat the next day.

There are seven semitones I need to get for this particular Subharmonics (if you are so inclined and so savvy and have nothing else to do, you know by now what this interval is :) But anyway, I have SEVEN notes I need. As of today, I have SIX. One more to go. And I started to use my husband as a guinea pig; I catch him when he comes from work and say, "So watch, see?" and try to play my six notes. Of course I play a lot less better than in my privacy. Although it is *just* my husband, I do get nervous when I try to do this in front of people. There is some attention or projection element in my violin playing that changes the way I play, so I need to practice this Subharmonics, really, in front of people. My poor husband happens to be the most immediate "other people" I have.

Anyway, I thought I start up the blog again, since I can no longer pretend I am going to come out with a BANG! and this blog entitled "Extended violin DIARY" should really be a diary that documents my progress, to help those who want to attempt something new, and to show the creative process (or struggle) or what I'm doing :)

Just so that I put an extra pressure on myself, I am already writing a new piece using this new Subharmonic interval, which I am planning to premiere in May. So it MUST be done :) And at the same time I get to explore the way this new interval can be musically incorporated into the violin playing and phrasing, which is essentially, the ultimate purpose of my developing Subharmonics in the first place.

I am very, very close. This is by far, the most difficult one for me to control, compared to Subharmonic Octave, 3rd or 2nd. And I'm not quite good enough yet to officially announce it. It is hard to imagine anyone else gets so excited about it, but in fact, from my point of view, in the history of violin playing this is pretty historic :) Or so I tell myself :)

How to get to the Soul of it

2011-02-01T21:21:00.009-05:00

I have taken a long hiatus from my blog. About 10 days ago, I had an emergency room visit for corneal abrasion. I damaged my eye by taking off a contact lens in a wrong way. That was Saturday a week ago, and on Sunday morning, I think I scrubbed my eye waking up. The following few hours, I was in excruciating pain on my right eye. I was going to *tough it out*, but tears were streaming down non-stop, and the pharmacist on the phone said to go to the emergency room, so I did. At the ER, doctors came in to look one by one saying "wow, that's impressive!". A doctor friend said later, "it's not great when doctors are impressed" :) They told me it was quite large, 3mm x 3mm abrasion in the center of the eye.

It healed very fast but the pain medicine, Vicodin made me quite sick and slowed me down, which resulted in everything piling up. I'm slowly picking up and catching up!

I went to see a Flamenco dance performance recently. My husband is taking Flamenco guitar lessons quite seriously so friends call and we go out for these things. I love Flamenco guitar, but in doses--it is just so intense, and if I listen to it, I will have to stop everything and it becomes very emotionally draining. My husband plays Flamenco CDs all day while he works, and I have absolutely no idea how he can do that!

At the concert, the dancers were marvelous, well rehearsed, technically superb, and I just love the sheer energy of these fierce women. The band: singers, drummer, guitarist were sitting in almost a semi-circle behind the dancers and I had this strange out-of-body or out-of-context feeling: as if we were transported near a beach somewhere in the south of Spain, near a camp fire, or in a drinking place gathering and watching our neighbors sing and dance late into the night. It was a strange feeling--on stage there is Malaga, and we the audience, Manhattan crowd peeking into the world ages and places away. I see other more ethnic performances so to speak, but this Flamenco performance gave me this strange surreal feeling.

The top-billed dancer was obviously fantastic, and all three women gave great performances. After the curtain call, all musicians and dancers came in front and formed a semi-circle clapping in interlocking rhythms as they do, and one by one they took turns giving short encore dances with only singing and clapping. Even musicians and singers danced, which doesn't happen in classical setting; how many violinist can drop the violin and join dancing the Nutcracker? :)

Anyway, as much as the program "proper" was impressive, what I really felt for, was one of the singers who sang throughout the show. She became a dancer for the moment during this encore, and gave her short solo dance. She probably didn't have the fancy footwork that the dancers showed all evening, but I was moved by her, in just a few minutes of her dancing. I felt she had the soul of it, and I don't know how I know it. She didn't have more tragic or intense facial expression than others; she didn't move faster or slower than others. But her dance spoke to me as a whole expression. I try to think why this happened.

When your performance is rehearsed, choreographed, executed according to plan, one must do so until it becomes a second nature, where everything feels as if it was never planned. I must confess that is quite a difficult state to achieve, as I find myself usually almost out of time, just enough to fulfill the planned execution. I usually barely have one or two days of *non-involvement* that is to say, I don't have to think about specific execution of the performance before the concert. You can put yourself a bit outside of the performance, which frees you. As I mentioned in my previous entry, when I am not "all there", the audience seems to respond better than when I'm completely aware of every single things I'm doing during the performance.

This Flamenco singer-dancer had it---she wasn't thinking of the dance, nor choreography, but she was on the Magic Carpet expressing the soul of it. It looked as if everything came naturally to her and it was her second-nature. And that is what put everything into place--her facial expressions, her movements, everything. When this happens, communicating with audience is completely effortless. Now let's wish us good luck for our own performance next time, that we will get to the Soul of it :)

On Tenors: Professional Opinion

2011-01-21T15:04:00.003-05:00

In response to my post yesterday about how interpretations today maybe limited, taking the example of "La Donna E Mobile" and Caruso, which I amateurishly posted, a friend of mine Andrew Moravcsik sent me this very informative and educational email. Andy is an opera critic who has reviewed Bayreuth Opera and writes for Newsweek International and other publications such as Opera magazine and Economist. He is the authority on operas for me, although he has a day job teaching Political Science at Princeton University, and to many, is an authority on European Union. But when Andy calls at the last minute inviting me to go to an opera production, I basically drop everything and go.

I thought that his email is too good to just sit in my inbox, so I share it. Here is what Andy wrote me:

Hi Mari!

Glad to see my favorite electronic violinist is slumming in the land of Italian opera favorites. But why don't you consult with your opera expert before throwing these things up?

You have very much the right idea that modern singing is one-dimensional as compared to older opera singing: Sung from the chest, little variation in expressive and musical means. This is the tragedy of modern singing. But you do miss three big items intrinsic to any "Donna è mobile" comparison:

(1) You compare on rubato, and that is important. But there are many more relevant dimensions of vocal expression that we are losing, besides simply tempo. Among them are dynamics, vocal color, whether to sing in the head or the chest, characterization, artistic imagination, diction, rhythmic articulation, etc. The use of these other tools has declined just as much as use of rubato.

(2) You compare 8 modern ones, 1 quasi-professional of the 50s (Lanza), and Caruso. But the greatest competitors to Caruso lie in between. In a serious 20th century comparison, most people might include, alongside Caruso, Pavarotti (for sheer vocal splendor), Kraus (for style), Domingo (just because of who he is, even if he is misparted here). None of the others rate in historical perspective, though I rather like the version by Kaufmann I've heard. The more interesting tenors are those between 1910 and 1970.

(3) Another thing any serious opera person will note is that Caruso recorded the aria three times, in 1903, 1904 and 1908. These are rather different. (There is a whole debate about his evolving style.) So which one do you like and why? The same goes for many of these others: Kraus, I believe, recorded the entire opera more than once. Pavarotti has recordings of the aria spanning 40 years. In the latter case, I rather like the early ones, which are freer and more imaginative, then he settled into routine that was much criticized. (See the piece I wrote for NEWSWEEK on his death on my website here:http://www.princeton.edu/~amoravcs/library/pavarotti.pdf

Now, on to Caruso. I appreciate, as you do, the use of rubato at the end of each line (not just the end of the stanzas), and find it interesting. But I believe it comes at a cost, both musical and dramatic. Remember that this is an aria by an aristocrat who is at once arrogant and indifferent to those around him, and who doesn't have a worry in the world. The opera's plot turns on the fact that the Duke does not care about morality or mortality, for nothing can ever happen to him. He's untouchable. The injustice of this, viewed from the perspective of Rigoletto, his lowly jester, drives the plot: Rigoletto first joins the Duke, then tries to beat him--of course unsuccessfully and, in the end, tragically. The aria is brilliantly written to convey this. Any interpretation must be done with a light touch, projecting this uncaring, light-hearted personality, obliviousness to surroundings, simple-minded interest in pleasure, even his exasperating arrogance, yet at the same time a certain underlying fierceness and danger. It is more difficult to do well than it might seem at first.

Back to Caruso: I find there are real problems in the 1908 version. It is heavy, both in terms of vocal color (the voice sounds too old and heavy for the part--and it is notable that, though this was less than 1/3 of the way through his recording career, Caruso never recorded this lyric aria again), and in terms of interpretation. The tempo changes work against him in places: for example, the ends of the phrases seem clumsy and heavy, and stopping in the middle of the line makes him seem like someone who thinks too much. I like the 1903 more, and the 1904 even more. Caruso's voice sounds more youthful, he mixes and varies head and chest well, the rubato more naturally employed, there is more rhythmic snap and characterization to it all, and he sounds less mannered. 1904 Caruso would be on my top 10. Obviously, compared to Rolando Villazon it sounds great. But I think there are even better ones out there.

One of my favorites is Beniamino Gigli 1934. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWImUY0N610 but I do not like this transfer, the original is warmer of sound, so use the version attached above, which I think sounds more natural). This one, in my view, has it all. The tempo creates the right mood of insouciance. It is slower, relaxed. It passes your rubato test, but in a different way. His tempo is steady through the first part of the stanzas. He does not use rubato at the end of each line, and I think (see above) in this light aria, that is the more appropriate choice. (There is a debate about whether in the 19th century singers varied tempo more, what we have lost, etc.) You can almost see the strolling aristocrat, who cannot be bothered to notice anything except the little tune he is singing and the girl he is chasing. He uses a more conventionally placed, but perfectly judged ritard on the high note, followed by a snappy acceleration.

Gigli mixes and varies head and chest voice well--in a way that is varied, natural, musical, and in character. He starts mezzo-forte with mostly chest, a very focused tone, goes from full voice to an audaciously pure head voice (pp) on the high note (Caruso does this once, suddenly, but with an uncomfortable break, near the end of the 1903 recording, but this is much better), then back to mixed. Only on the last notes of the phrase does he open up the voice to forte, and only on the last notes of the entire aria, after the little cadenza, does he exploit his voice's full, golden richness, more chesty and darker than the start, at ff. Notice also that he starts the second verse in a slightly more head voice than the first (Caruso hints at this in 1904, as well).

There are, in addition, myriad rhythmic and stylistic details. The mordents are perfect, musically lovely, and dramatically suggesting aristocratic disdain. The diction is very clear, and there is a wonderfully teasing quality about it. In the first stanza, listen to how crisply the words "cento" "penSIEro, "pianto" are enunciated, and the way he snaps "mobile" halfway through the first stanza, tracking the violins exactly. (You think there is nothing at all in the thin accompaniment to this aria, until you hear an singer make use of it like this.)

All this is high art, very subtle, and yet the most amazing thing is that you do not notice any of it. Gigli is so personable, so innately musical, and so firmly embedded in a stylistic tradition, and yet so idiosyncratic, that it seems entirely natural. He adds all this without crushing what is the simplest and most unaffected of arias. In my opinion, it is sheer genius.

There are dozens of performances between 1910 and 1970 worth parsing in this way, though few quite as good as Gigli. But no time!

BTW, if you want to hear the greatest conducting of Rigoletto ever, which really makes a virtue of this mix of restraint and freedom within a proper style required to be truly great, listen to the celebrated live Act IV from Madison Square Garden under Toscanini.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5YW2V0esi0 Toscanini pushes the tempi, which is correct in Italian opera, and yet it feels open and natural. He understood the need to make each line breath, as if it were sung, and the need for rubato where appropriate. Listen, for example, to his handling of the Quartet, which comes right after "La donna e mobile." The first (allegro) section (from 4:45 to 6:11) is played with unmatched deftness and lightness, combined with irresistible flow and forward momentum. What he gets the orchestra to do between the two stanzas with the accelerando and rubato--for example, that sudden violin sfz articulation at 5:38!--is just magical. This section just sweeps you into the more famous andante that follows. Toscanini He underscores the contrast by not initially varying the tempo, giving the line a magical sense of stillness. As in Gigli's "Donna è mobile", he exploits the dramatic potential of an initially steady tempo. There is a slight increase in urgency when the other voices come in. Then at the end of the verse, a little accelerando and a big ritard on the tenor high note. In the tutti that follows, the slight tempo changes are all natural, not forced as in Caruso. Once in a century it sounds like that--despite being live in a basketball stadium.

You should hear my evening talk on "10 tenors of the 20th century" sometime. I do one aria each by, arguably, the 10 greatest tenors of the 20th century, arrayed to tell the story of the tenor aria from Monteverdi to Britten. I contrast Gigli and Pavarotti on "Donna e mobile" to show the decline of singing. People are blown away by how low we've sunk. You certainly got that right! I look forward to your other forays into opera!

Andy Moravcsik
Princeton University

Is "score" a Bible of Interpretation?

2011-01-21T05:51:00.022-05:00

Since I went all out yesterday with French pop "grandma's music", making my French husband and in-laws quite alarmed :) Today I go back to classics. Like anyone, I like comparing performers, listening to different violinists playing the same pieces; or at least I used to, comparing old timers. Today not so much, as younger generation of violinists seem to be not too distinguishable from one another, and I don't find it fun. Just because my daughter is playing the extraction of "La Donna E Mobile" from Rigoletto for her piano lessons, here I go.

As I mentioned yesterday, I really like listening to singers of any genre, and get a lot of performance ideas in terms of phrasing. My old violin teachers also used to say, "listen to the singers!". I'm not an opera specialist but my interest is very specific in today's case: rubato of a part of a phrase. Here is the text of the first 16 measures of the song. I'm specifically listening to the underlined italic places:

La donna è mobile

Qual piuma al vento,

Muta d'accento — e di pensiero.

Sempre un amabile,

Leggiadro viso,

In pianto o in riso, — è menzognero.

(Woman is flighty
Like a feather in the wind,
She changes her voice — and her mind.
Always sweet,
Pretty face,
In tears or in laughter, — she is always lying.)

Call me old fashioned (I really am, despite all the "revolutionary" Subharmonics and interactive computer systems :) but my favorite is hands down, the good old Mr. Enrico Caruso. And here is the reason. At the underlined second-half of the phrase, he is practically the only one I could find, who does "rubato" to the degree that's almost distorted in terms of tempo. He takes quite a liberty in making a very noticeable ritardando (slowing down). He does it every time, making very clear contrast, as the text corresponds in contrasting character. Even if you don't understand the Italian lyrics, you know something is different because of the way he sings.

So I was curious, as I can't really find anyone sing the way Caruso does, I went on Youtube doing a "La Donna E Mobile Sing-Out" :) The quality of these recordings isn't the issue; you are just listening to how these tenors sing the first 16 measures. I found it curious that after Caruso, the singers of the following generation sings with more and more rigid tempo-- almost no inflections at all. Really, nobody sang like Caruso after him. I do enjoy all of them in a different way, but again, I'm just interested in this specific item. If you like, click on the names and compare yourself:

1. Here is my "winner" Enrico Caruso. (b. 1873)
2. Mario Lanza (b. 1921) slight "tenuto" where Caruso slows down
3. Richard Tucker doesn't quite slow down as much as Caruso but clearly sings with contrast
3.5 (new) Alfredo Kraus does almost slow down once
The "Three Tenors" sing it with no tempo change at all.

4. José Carreras, and his earlier version which I prefer (less audio quality)

5. Placido Domingo slowest, no rubato except for the fermata at the end of the verses like everyone

6. Pavalotti sheer power house, I don't have much else to say...

Now, the younger generation, theirs maybe slightly more in variety and freedom than the previous generations of giants.
7. Rolando Villazon pretty much following the previous generation
8. Marcelo Alvarez see above, even more straight than Villazon
9. Jonas Kauffman no real rubato, but certainly a lot freer than the "3 tenors" from the last generation (at the end you can see Carreras is in the audience)
10. Juan Diego Florez does the slight ritardando a few times a la Caruso

I wrote yesterday, that without the recording of old works while the composers were alive, even with today's scholarly performance practice studies, we maybe performing a very different music from what was originally intended. Caruso is the closest to Verdi's generation obviously, born 20 some years after Rigoletto was first performed in 1851. He sang Rigoletto making his debut two years after Verdi died in 1901. It is very possible he heard Rigoletto while Verdi was alive, and it maybe that the singers of that time sang the way Caruso does. Or, this "slowing down" was Caruso's unique way, that he made the mark on his own.

More "composer-centric", or clearer the interpreter/composer division became in the 20th century, the "liberty" such as of Caruso's, seemed to have become shunned or frowned upon. "It is NOT WRITTEN!" to slow down, so you don't slow down like that. We have become more faithful to the score, taking it as the "bible" of interpretation. It seemed to have made us sacrifice the freedom of individual expression and we have achieved the conformity instead. Is it too cynical the way I put it? :)

"La Belle Vie" and "The Good Life"

2011-01-19T00:09:00.004-05:00

And both are great :) For no apparent reasons, today I listened to Sacha Distel's "La Belle Vie" and "The Good Life", English version sang by Sinatra, comparing over and over again for about 10+ times :) My French husband said Distel is like "grandma's song" but as a violinist, it interests me immensely how singers carry their words and phrases, in any genre.

La Belle Vie by Distel

The Good Life by Sinatra

(I attached the both lyrics at the end of this post)

I'm particularly interested in the pronunciation of words and the rhyme; it is very much like articulation in string playing, at least to me. Articulation on strings, I mean the way the sound starts, is the consonances in songs. I think that string composition and string articulation are very closely related to each other--you can have beautiful sustaining tones but if you don't start and end the sound in the way which you are meant to project, the phrases don't truly speak.

I did this Distel (French) and Sinatra (English) "listening match", and as expected the original French version has more rhyming with clear consonances, articulating the music the way it was intended. The English version "The Good Life", the translation or re-write of the original lyrics written by Distel and Jean Broussole, are completely different, and the lyrics don't even mean the same thing. Musically I hear almost a completely different composition. I don't mean to say it's bad; I like Sinatra's juicy volumptuous voice very much, so it's a different song.

I also listen to "The Girl from Ipanema" a lot, comparing Sinatra/Jobim. In this amazing footage, Sinatra singing in English, starts out with the band clearly marking the downbeats for him, for otherwise quite rhythmically intricate piece. Then they switch to Jobim with his guitar singing in Portuguese. His lyrics are very different, syllables quite pronounced and rhymed, and of course completely off-beat. Sinatra himself hears the difference and murmurs at 0'34" mark, "That's the only way!".

When songs are imported from one language to another, it often seems to become almost a different song, except the notes and harmony are the same. Does this apply to instrumental music? Maybe if Chopin, Liszt, Vivaldi or Paganini were alive, those of us who play their works in the way "we" play, might actually sound completely different from how these composer/performer intended. Even with scholarly performance practice studies, there are no surviving recordings. Maybe what we are "interpreting", the works from the past, without the "correct" articulation and phrasing, we maybe merely tracing something that once was a completely different composition....

I attach below the lyrics of "La Belle Vie" and "The Good Life" I found on the internet.

"La Belle Vie"

Ô la belle vie

Sans amour

Sans soucis

Sans problème.

Hum la belle vie

On est seul

On est libre

Et l'on s'aime.

On s'amuse à passer avec tous ses copains

Des nuits blanches

Qui se penchent

Sur les petits matins.

Mais la belle vie

Sans amour

Sans soucis

Sans problème.

Oui la belle vie

On s'enlace

On est triste

Et l'on traîne.

Alors pense que moi je t'aime

Et quand tu auras compris

Réveille-toi

Je serai là

Pour toi.

"The Good Life"

It's the good life, full of fun, seems to be the ideal,

Yes, the good life, lets you hide all the sadness you feel,

You won't really fall in love 'cause you can't take the chance,

So be honest with yourself, don't try to fake romance.

Yes, the good life, to be free and explore the unknown,

Like the heartache when you learn you must face them alone,

Please remember I still want you and in case you wonder why,

Well, just wake up, kiss that good life goodbye.

Rolling in the Magic Carpet

2011-01-16T00:48:00.001-05:00

Does this sound a bit x-rated? :) It's not; those of you who have read my older post entitled Magic Carpet might know what I maybe talking about.

Recently I attended a concert of a fantastic performer who presented a huge repertoire, truly a tour-de-force performance. It was just impressive. The performer was most competent, musical, and delivered the program with utmost integrity. The concert was packed with select audience, many of whom were composers and fellow performers such as myself. It was truly a treat.

I knew very little of these pieces; there were famous and familiar composers but it was not my instrument. In fact most of the composers on the program were those whom I admire and respect immensely, however I never quite *loved*. That's why I was taken by surprise that one of the pieces completely charmed me, works by my "respectable-but-not-lovable" composer.

The work in question was written quite early in the composer's career, therefore retained the early musical influence. But I didn't think that was why. The mark of the composer's voice was unmistakably already there in this early work. I don't think it is because the work sounded rather "conservative" compared to the composer's later work, that I liked it. There are works of similar style that I really don't care for.

The performer chose this work for whatever reason, but to me, the performer was so comfortable playing it, riding effortlessly on the Magic Carpet. In fact it was so effortless that I didn't feel like the performer was playing the instrument, but rather flying or rolling around in it. The performance was that spectacular that it made me forget which instrument the music was coming from.

Other works on the program were delivered by the performer with equal rigor and perfection. But this piece I described in particular I thought, was just perfectly done.

Now, I must be careful; I am not saying that the performer didn't deliver other works as well as this piece in question. But there are at least two possibilities. 1) Indeed the performer was at most comfortable and indeed loved this particular work, therefore the Magic Carpet was flying. That's why I, who doesn't really *love* this composer usually, loved this work. 2) It was this particular work itself allowed the performer to ride, or roll in the Magic Carpet, whereas other works on the program didn't, nor the same composer's later works that I don't particularly love.

I was deciding it was 2), that it was the work itself which was better than others. That would be the easy answer. But the question is, how if it was 1) ? If it was the first possibility, that every performance I've heard of any composer that I never cared for, were not performed by those who weren't comfortable enough to fly the Magic Carpet? Have I been robbed of appreciating all these pieces? That would be truly sad, and makes me feel the obligation as a performer. Note to self....

Facelift, or Plastic Surgery? :)

2011-01-11T02:45:00.015-05:00

No, Not Me!! :) I'm just putting this title as a metaphor for revising or rewriting an older work.

One of this year's (2010-2011) creative project, during my Guggenheim Fellowship year, I decided that I would rework on my 1999 Violin Concerto and try to get it recorded. It was commissioned by Guanajuato Orchestra in Mexico with grant from Jerome Foundation. It was absolutely the first orchestra piece I have ever written, and with no real experience and with no guidances. I did take a lot more harmony and orchestration courses than "normal" violinists at Toho School but still I am very largely self-taught when it comes to composition; my only composition "teacher", although that is not even too official--I wasn't enrolled in the "composition" department--was Mario Davidovsky when I enrolled in Juilliard-Columbia Univ. exchange program and took private lessons with him for a few years.

I decided to "upgrade" or rework on my old concerto instead of writing a new one. I much prefer to write a brand new one (and I would like to actually); it would be a lot easier than to rewrite. The main reason being that this 1999 work is the first Violin Concerto in history that used Subharmonics, pitches below open G, introducing those low notes in the violin repertoire. An excerpt from the Cadenza was printed in an article on Subharmonics I wrote on STRINGS magazine in 2001 (August/Sept issue). The picture above is a measure from the Cadenza. So it is already documented somewhat, but I feel I need to cast it in stone for the historical value.

The orchestra part is at times almost embarrassingly simple; when I got the commission I talked to Robert Dick, a virtuoso and revolutionary flutist who single handedly changed modern flute's capacities, and who also wrote his own concerto. Since Robert and I are friends (and in fact we have a duo improvisation CD out, called Irrefrageable Dreams) I turned to him for an advice. In his typical quirky and cheerful way, Robert said to me, "Whatever you do, just remember Mari, CHOPIN is the cut off" ! He meant that the orchestra part shouldn't be simpler than Chopin's piano concerto! :)

Unlike so many great contemporary violin concertos written by master composers today, I am curiously not ashamed to say that my intentions for creating a violin concerto as a violinist myself, isn't really in creating a master orchestral piece :) My interest is foremost to showcase and feature the violin, which one could say that it maybe more "shallow" or superficial musically. I personally find modern violin concertos (in general) too "thick" in orchestration that covers over the solo parts too much, but again that is spoken by somewhat egotistical typical violinist point of view :) The modern composition ethics seems to dictate that the solo violin part should be more integrated into the orchestra as a whole. I don't mean to be rebellious, but personally I am not interested in this aesthetics; other more competent people can write more "integrated" master compositions. I write for the solo violin :)

Anyway, even with this self-serving violinist-pleasing concerto writing style, I feel I still would need to improve on my orchestrations and even some structural elements. The orchestra I wrote for was a University orchestra, and I had consciously kept orchestra parts, especially winds and brass, rather simple. The question is, when I start "improving" on the already-written score and parts, would that be a "facelift", pulling and tightening when necessary, or would it involve some major structural changes like a plastic surgery, shaving bones and such!?!? As I'm already working at it, I am afraid that it is the latter.

This is a "Violin Concerto, 1999", but when I finish revising it, I will have to add "revised 2011" and it will have more than a decade in between. I am realizing that it will not be the same piece anymore. Why didn't I do it before? Good question; I guess I would just blame it on having two babies! :):)

Rehearsal scenarios and anti-click-track :)

2011-01-04T21:11:00.012-05:00

So I just spent a good few days completely focusing on developing a "plug-and-play" interactive system for cellist Joel Krosnick, and made Ralph Shapey's cello piece "Solo, Duo, Trio" interactive using MaxMSP. In terms of programming it was relatively easy, but the hard part for me was to imagine all the practicing scenarios that one would expect, if this was a human 3-cello piece. "OK, lets play from m. 47", "can you do that again?" "just 1st and 3rd cellos only, let's go from where we stopped" etc. etc. This is Joel and I rehearsing today at Juilliard. It is truly inspiring to work with such a remarkable musician who has worked with and recorded Carter, Shapey etc. intimately with their presence. Joel discussed multi-rhythm schemes by these composers and the performance practice of these works. I felt like I just attended a private lesson!

When you are rehearsing with human players, of course all you have to do is to "say" where and how you are going to rehearse, but for interactive performance with a computer, especially when there is no computer operator, and for a classical cellist who has never used any kind of computer music program before, AND who is holding a cello on one hand so essentially he has one hand or just a finger or two to press a key, it became surprisingly challenging. I had to simplify the user interface, making it automatic enough but still keep flexible and versatile rehearsal schemes. I also spent a good amount of time color coding cues and displays for at-a-glance recognition of what is happening, since Joel is mainly reading the music and have very little time to glance at the computer. Having to plan for my another commission I'm writing for the Cassatt Quartet, this was a very good exercise for me. I'm happy to say Joel is able to do everything on his own :) So far so good!

Joel has been performing this piece by playing back the recording of his overdubbing, which is obviously cast in stone in terms of timing. He said that he used click-track to make that recording. He also mentioned that, at one performance he performed some notes a little too long, but of course when it was "played back" during the overdubbed part, it was different from what he just played. So this time, he is performing it live, which Shapey originally intended. Now that he has to live with "himself" so to speak, which isn't cast in stone but played live, Joel said "Now I have to get used to playing with ME!" and we laughed.

Joel and I discussed how people still use click-track in performance, which both of us don't like. We agree that the sound of click-track itself dictates musical quality, and the price of "in sync exactly on time" kills the spontaneity of rhythm and live performance. I have heard very young and talented composers even, while attempting to use the most sophisticated "score following" program and failing (or the system wasn't working as well), resorting to performers wearing click-track. What is really a point of writing music that requires a click track and syncing with electronics so perfectly that requires an electronic conductor to dictate the humans? That's sad. But that's just me :)

I have heard one exceptional performance by a young duo from Mexico, whose name I'm trying to remember--if someone knows them please remind me! The second word of the group was "Ritmica"... I heard them at Anthology Film Archives concert years ago. (I will update this entry with their name when I find it!) Anyway the two percussionists were perfectly in sync, very musical and vibrant. And they were using click track wearing headphones. The music was very rhythmic and the use of obvious click track, for the first and only time for me to this day, didn't bother me; it made sense. I went up to them after the concert and asked, "so what ARE you listening?" They let me hear their headphones, and to my surprise, it wasn't the usual "ticking" with one pitch--which I find appallingly unmusical--but they were actually listening to some piano sounds in ARPEGGIO which was actually changing in 3, 4, 5, 7 or something in time! What a creative and musical idea :)

BTW Joel is wearing a headphone but NOT listening to a click track :) We also talked about how disturbing it is to wear a headphone and play an instrument at a concert. We also agreed that we both prefer these "ear buds" to full-ear-covering headphones, since you really can't hear your acoustic sound well with those unless you uncover one ear or something.

Rehearsing interactive computer music for classical performers

2010-12-30T23:32:00.005-05:00

I've been on hiatus from the blog, as I've been organizing home parties, inviting close friends for dinners, house-guests, the usual holiday fair plus the kids out of school, and the NYC blizzard which doesn't help :) I'm also working on a MaxMSP program for cellist Joel Krosnick this week, for him to perform Ralph Shapey's Solo, Duo, Trio. Joel approached me earlier in the year, since he wanted to perform this work interactively. The piece is written for solo cello, over-dubbing twice. He has been performing it with the recording of himself playing the 1st and 2nd parts, but Shapey explicitly said that he wanted this to be done live.

Since the piece is entirely written, it probably is a good candidate to "score follow" to make this piece interactive. But score following, as I described in my earlier post, to me is rather unmusical performance wise. For the computer to "follow" all the notes and beats in order to accompany a human player seems quite unnecessary and too complicated since the human performer can perfectly "follow" the sound itself than following the score, which is just the representation of what is actually happening with the "flow" of the music. So I'm doing something a lot simpler, and it is not too difficult to do technically. But rather, I'm spending a lot of time on rehearsal schemes.

Since Joel will be alone on stage, and there will be no human assistance on or off the stage, AND he has no hands so to speak--he is playing the cello--he needs complete autonomy. That goes without saying for the performance patch, but what I'm trying to do is for him not to have to use both hands to touch the computer even during the rehearsing of the piece. He has his instrument on his left hand as I do my violin, so the only possibility to touch the computer is the right hand, or even one finger of the right hand while he is still holding the bow. I'm trying to make the system that's versatile as possible for him that only thing he will have to do is just to type a few keys to rehearse, not even scroll the mouse, drag and click the mouse or anything like that. While I was at IRCAM this summer, the first thing I asked the team to do was to consider me hand-less; many computer programs require the operator to use two hands or type, and that's not good enough for a string player interacting with a computer, not to mention on stage, but also during the rehearsal. I think.

Since I primarily program for myself up until now, I don't have to be so caring about the performer's needs and I can put up with my own un-elegant programming :) But this time around, and for my new piece for the Cassatt Quartet, I am learning to take more care of the interface that musicians, who are not used to operating interactive systems, will be able to use it with ease. The system I'm working on, Joel could rehearse from where ever in the piece he wants with a stroke of a key or two, without having to put down his bow. I'm trying to write the Max patch so that there will be no scene where he needs two hands to touch the computer. Well we will see if it works! :)

Visualizing Music vs. Physical Competence

2010-12-23T03:22:00.002-05:00

As I mentioned, I just received a 2010 Fromm Commission to write for a quartet and interactive computer. I have been thinking for quite a while, how to go about it. When I compose, I think I tend to visualize the performance even before the piece is written. That is to say I actually see the quartet on stage, with a computer on the side, and start listening (in my imagination) what and how they are playing. It might seem strange, since the piece is not yet written down on paper. But for me, when I have the clear visualization on how they are sounding, the rest, putting down notes etc. is very fast and easy. On the other hand, if I start from writing down notes themselves before I am able to visualize the performance, which I also have done in the past, the compositional process takes a lot longer and not necessarily with the best results. I think I'm trying to listen to the musical logic or the "flow" of music which I described before, or see how the "Magic Carpet" is flying, even before I put down the notes.

My proposal stated that I would write the work so that the quartet is completely autonomous on stage, without the need for the 3rd person or assistant to be "performing" the computer. At the moment, I'm "visualizing" how this is going to be done. I am somewhat fatigued by the conventional "score following", which happens a lot in computer music. For me, making the computer follow a score is not very interesting; why would I want to do that, instead of a having a real person to do the same? Instead I would be more interested in creating a behavior itself, and having computer interpret musical expression, creating more symbiotic relationship with the human players.

When I'm doing this visualization of music, so to speak, I often am rather physically decapacitated. I would be loading a dishwasher, (which seems to be a good time for visualization or imagining my musical schemes) my hands are stopped in mid-air holding dishes, water running in the sink, and I'm as if the time has stopped, standing there frozen. It must be very funny to witness this, as my daughter who found me in this state and laughed, "Mommy, you stopped!" I would be cutting something like a broccoli, a knife in my hand and I'm stopped mid-way through the vegetable. If I do this "visualization" work on the subway, I miss my stops, take a wrong train, get out from a wrong exit; all kinds of real-life small catastrophes happen.

I have been curious why this happens to me, and it seems that I'm "slowing down" time in my head, listening to what I'm creating, almost like a slow-motion. That seems to be the explanation to why I seem to lose track of time and focus in real-life. There is a time-stretching going on inside my head which stops my real-life kinetic movements! I'm also curious, when we day-dream, is this what we are doing, stretching time in our heads?

"Hopping" onto the next

2010-12-18T14:02:00.004-05:00

Well, not exactly because today is my birthday, but I just had kind of a visual thought of "hopping on to the next" :)

Yesterday at Juilliard I video-taped my students trying IRCAM's improvisation system called Omax, on a special stand-alone version created for me this summer. That is to say, Omax is usually operated by an off-stage operator, or "computer performer" (see this online presentation on IRCAM page). However, I wanted everything to be operated from my violin without assistance, using my various data alone without the 3rd person; I want a compete autonomy on stage. So Benjamin Lévy of the Musical Representation team at IRCAM created this special stand-alone version for me this summer.

Omax is not "listening" to the behavior of the performer, but rather it analyzes incoming sounds, then chooses and segments your sound on its own and plays back. So, in a way, it is "listening" but the musical decisions are not truly made based on the continuous input; that is the role of the "computer performer". The computer operator is the "ear", who can control many parameters in realtime and can "perform" with the player. In my "stand-alone" version I used, to create my new piece called Viomax this summer which I premiered in NYC this October, I control some parameters on my own via pitch, loudness and bowing detections.

Even with this limitations, i.e., there isn't anyone "home" so to speak, a performer could create quite an interesting performance. To attest to this, both my students and myself, can go on for quite a while without losing musical interest, ending up playing with Omax and create interesting results. It could create quite an engaging musical performance scenarios on the spot, provided that the "live" person is quite accommodating to the Omax's behavior. Since Omax plays back what you played, but perhaps not in the strict order you did and keeping the history of your improvisation in the memory, the "playback" could be compositionally interesting. But by chance. That means that it still could be NOT interesting. The reason why us performers can go on despite of this, is that when Omax does something that is rather 'out of context' or musically not expected, a skilled performer/improvisor could adjust the trajectory of the music, correct and carve the path of past-present-future, or just to "Hop On" to the next on the fly, ending up making sense of the music at hand. It still boils down to the human performer's musical will. I look forward to continuing working with IRCAM on this, and to develop this paradigm in the future.

Both sides of the fence

2010-12-15T09:16:00.000-05:00

This week, I'm finding myself in two opposite sides: I'm evaluating projects as a music juror and I'm writing a proposal for myself for a grant application. This is not uncommon for musicians, but it makes you think.

When you apply for grants, I find it easier for those who read it, that the proposal is concrete and specific as possible. As a juror, it is not easy to go through paragraphs of work description written in philosophical or metaphoric manner, or too vague, covering too wide a range of possibilities, or overly elaborate in manner. In fact, when you see that kind of a proposal, the juror's task seems to become more like deciphering what is really being proposed there.

To save both sides the trouble, the best way is to read the application guidelines as carefully as possible, and try to find out first, if the grant or the venue is truly the match for your project and proposal. Of course there are other reasons for people to apply: money, prestige or both. But without the concrete purpose and the matching of the grantee and grantor, the chance of success isn't very good. At least that is what I am seeing.

Now, I'm also on the other side, having to apply for a grant. Sometimes, a particular grant is indeed, asking for something grander, vast in scale and long term. So far my compositional projects have been quite limited to my own (violin), and I have had just a few big-scale proposals that went through, namely a work for Youth Symphony which received New York State Council on the Arts grant, and a Violin Concerto, my first orchestral work I wrote for myself using Subharmonics, which received Jerome Foundation grant. These are projects that are bigger than one violin, but nevertheless, limited in scale, in terms of timing and scope. For the first time I am having to think in longer term with different aspects, and it is a little overwhelming.

Some grantors maybe actively seeking for something grander in scale, rather than a composition of "usual fair". I might have to go elaborate, philosophical, and metaphoric this time.

Birthing a Project, and Choosing the Tools

2010-12-09T13:12:00.002-05:00

This week, I am doing some paperwork. I am on a music jury reviewing some proposals which is due soon. I am also finally getting to finish the progress report from my residency at IRCAM this summer, which is also due. I am also at the moment, beginning stage of several compositions, including two commissions: a duo with cellist Joel Krosnick, and for the Cassatt String Quartet. And, I am also working with several students at Juilliard on building their projects. In another words, this is a week of "birthing" the projects.

I think composers approach a new project in different ways. Sometimes, especially when you are starting out, you might feel overwhelmed, and the overwhelming feeling could get multiplied when it involves technology, as the possibilities are just too vast, as I mentioned in my earlier entry "Freedom and Limitations". In one of these cases, I have suggested to some students who claims to be "stuck", in fact, to start writing the program notes first! :) Composers compose because they have desire to express, before they know which tools, motifs, the building blocks they will use. Sometimes, it is useful to spell it out trying to explain to others what you are trying to express, which could help in fact, in choosing the tools you need. It's like watching my children play; sometimes the tools are already in front of them, for example, a play-dough, and the tools themselves inspire them to create. Sometimes the play-dough gets to be combined with something that happen to be lying around, such as wooden blocks or LEGO (yikes!), and become multi-media productions.

Sometimes they have something specific they want to make, and they seek the tools they need to make that happen. And when the tools turn out to be unavailable, (such as scotch tapes this mom fiercely guard against being exploited!) they go to the end of the earth to find the substitute for their projects. Or sometimes, when they only have sticks, leaves and stones in the field, they still manage to create a theater if they want to. The will and desire to create, and functions that enable them, are most important; the tools are always of secondary importance.

Obituary: Yumiko Kano (鹿野祐美子）

2010-12-07T21:01:00.008-05:00

My mother emailed me yesterday that she received a "Deferred New Year's card" from the parents of my best friend from Toho School named Yumiko Kano, that their daughter has passed away back in March. In Japan we still have the tradition of sending New Year's card, which is to precisely arrive on January 1st, called "Nenga-jo" (年賀状). However, when you have a death in the family, we send in the greetings in advance. I was quite shocked that I didn't learn of her passing until now.

Yumiko was a composer/pianist. As a young teenager she was a class ahead of me at Toho School, and was at the top of the ear training class. Toho School's Music School for Children (like Juilliard' Pre-college) was where you get the most rigorous western musical education in Japan. Yumiko was at the highest level which means that she could pretty much sight-read orchestra scores on the piano perfectly, transpose, improvise, solfage, analyze and compose in any style on the fly. We became friends, and I have performed her compositions, when not many violin students were playing composition students' works. I was introduced to courses in harmony, orchestration, analysis that "normal" violin students wouldn't take at Toho School.

Part of the reason which put us together, was a rare group of composers who formed a "mountain climbing club" at Toho School! I wanted to join the club, and they made it a condition that I perform their pieces :) Imagine, these rather geeky group of composers had an odd member, the only violinist :) I fondly remember our trips in high mountains, chased by approaching thunderstorms, cooking on mountain tops, sleeping in cabins together. Yumiko taught me how to climb for a long time without much effort, the method I still use to climb up stairs. You basically "roll" from one to the next step, without pausing, carrying your weight from one to the other. It curiously has a lot in common with music and rhythm. We spent hours discussing the difference between how Asians (Japanese) and westerners walk, and the kind of steps we take, influence the rhythmical interpretation. We talked about shoes worn by westerners; the tip of their shoes are curved upward, where Japanese shoes are not, since Japanese don't walk the same way as the westerners. Japanese were used to wearing sandals for a long time, and our clothing: kimono, didn't allow us to walk the same way for generations. And we discussed how this traditional Japanese character might be influencing when Japanese perform western music. I make use of our discussion today for my own performance and phrasing in music.

Yumiko and I performed a lot together; she was a formidable pianist as well. She went on to study at the Conservatoire in Nice, France after Toho School. She leaves behind 2 CDs published in Japan: "The Seasons of High Attitude Plants", and "Quatre Tableaux Féeriques"(4 pictures of Féeriques) for four-hand piano, which won her the 1st prize at the 2nd International Composition Competition for Piano Duo in 1992 in Japan. These works are published from Ongaku-no Tomo ("Friends of Music"), the prime music publishing house in Japan. The program include: Quartre Tableaux Féeriques-Chansons de France pour les Petits Français, Fantasie sur les Thèmes des Alpes, Sept Vielles Chansons: Veilles Chansons et Rondes, accompanied by her advice notes on performance. (Ongaku-no Tomo, No. 438610)

Yumiko taught at Toho school, and performed and taught widely in Japan. This Amazon link is in Japanese unfortunately and it says it is out of stock, but says will be filled shortly. Above is the CD of this work, available on Amazon. It is published from a Japanese company called Nami Records, which lists a contact info. The CD number is WWCC-7264. The aforementioned "The Seasons of High Attitude Plants"is WWCC-7361.

Yumiko also published piano textbooks, which are quite amazing, including pieces like "Let's have fun with *mixed time signature*", "combined rhythm, 2 against 3, 3 vs. 4, etc", illustrating uniquely and clearly through her compositions, quite advanced musical concepts for children. The scores are in two volumes, "Expressive Piano Lessons" book 1 and 2. (Also Ongaku-no Tomo, but I couldn't find it in the website. I have them)

Yumiko leaves behind her parents, after a long battle with breast cancer. She fought very hard for several years, after it metastasized to her spine. She researched all the radio-active hot springs and knew all the data, measurement that she needed to slow down her cancer. The last time we spoke, she rather joyfully explained to me in length the locations of hot springs, which extended to Taiwan I think, and the radiation levels, how often, how long she should go into the hot spring etc. It was very analytical and typical of Yumiko, that she took her condition quite scientifically and dealt with it as the best she could.

The news of her passing slowly is marking me as the end of an era in my life, although she passed away last March. I owe her our countless hours of lively questioning and discussions, thinking and searching of music. I miss her terribly, and I celebrate the life and contributions of Yumiko Kano.

Subconscious vs. Conscious Performance and Composition

2010-12-05T21:02:00.009-05:00

I have always noticed when I have a performance, if I am completely focused, or "with it" so to speak in my head during the performance, the performance itself to the audience, isn't necessarily the best (!).

On the other hand, when I am slightly distracted because of the nervousness or other reasons, and not necessarily "with it" every single minute of the performance, the outcome to the audience seems better.

In the first scenario, I am personally very satisfied that I was "with it" perfectly and did everything I was supposed to do. I assume the audience felt the same and were happy. In the second scenario, often I'm a little disappointed with my own lack of concentration and not sure of the outcome, and assume that audience was able to tell my unfocussed-ness.

It isn't so. I have found time and again, audience's responses are opposite to my own perception, at least to a certain degree. It seems that when I am too "with it" there is some kind of area, a subconscious area of performance that isn't there. I'm too close to the performance, and my focus and concentration, in fact limit subconscious freedom to take wing. On the other hand, even if I'm a bit space-out or unfocused or lose concentration (*if* I am technically well prepared) it seems to give that subconscious level of freedom in performance that audience appreciate. It is very difficult to explain but I don't know how else to describe it.

Now, I'm wondering. Is there a parallel to this in composition? Improvisation, yes I believe. But a written composition, planned and laid out, is there a room for composer to be working on the subconscious level, and if so, how would the listener respond?

"Flow Following" not "Score Following"

2010-12-03T08:51:00.008-05:00

I just put up a YouTube video from one of the demonstration I did in Berlin recently. It's basically an "automatic accompanist" thing, which, musically doesn't interest me at all; why would you not want to use a human pianist? I made this demo in the summer at IRCAM during my residency in Paris, just to illustrate that there maybe an alternative to the tradition of "score following" in computer music, where people have been developing sophisticated systems to detect pitch, beat, rhythm etc. in order for computer to "follow" the human player. Although "score following" doesn't interest me as a musical tool in interactive music, I wanted to show that it is the "musical flow" which is more crucial to performance than notes and beats themselves.

When I thought about it, I just imagined how do we, in fact, performers "follow" the other player during performance. We do listen to the pitch, beat etc., but we don't really try to match note by note without the "flow" of the music. We are following the "flow" of music that notes and beats and the rest of it "fit" inside.

So my approach was, to create the "flow" using the bowing motion sensor, in a very "violin" way, by simply tracking a "sustaining" motion, which carves the "flow" of the phrases. The result, with this very simple "one trick pony" approach, was surprisingly accurate. Today people still ask "How are you tracking this?" even though I repeatedly say there is no "tracking" or "score following" involved.

In the MaxMSP program I have used some of the "common sense" of performance, such as setting the the minimum and maximum tempo. No sane performer would slow down or speed up beyond the acceptable musical limits, for example :) So no matter how I try to speed up or slow down using the bowing "sustaining" motion, there is a "limit". In this video therefore, I am simply controlling the tempo within those limits.

The mathematics behind the system was created by Nicolas Rasamimanana of the Realtime Musical Interactions Team at IRCAM. We worked together to come up with the correct calibration which was the most time consuming part. Nicolas is also a violinist, so it was so easy for him to understand what I wanted. When I first approached him with this idea, what he said was, "But we already have that function, although we never thought of using it this way!" There is however, a hand-drawn calibration table I made inside the program where I listened and tried so many times to get the scaling just right. And that really is user-specific.

For those who are in computer music, in this demo I am running MaxMSP inside Ableton LIVE's Max for LIVE, using API to simply control the tempo of the quantized MIDI piano sequence. By the way, the piece I'm playing for this demo is "Eu Te Amo" by Tom Jobim and Chico Buarque. It is a very soothing music perfect for me trying over and over again calibrating :)

Categorizing and Labeling

2010-12-02T21:35:00.001-05:00

As a musician, a performer/composer who comes from a classical violinist background who is also composing, I face this almost everyday: labeling and categorizing of my identity as a musician.

I am not frustrated, but rather puzzled. People have the need to put you into a "line" or a "box" where it can be "shopped" in stores. A few weeks ago I posted about "Head Space" saying that I have known performer/composers who stopped performing other people's music. I was thinking in particular about one person whom I looked to as kind of a model, although he isn't a violinist. Yesterday I was told that this person HAD to stop performing other people's music in the 70s and 80s, since that was the only way to be taken seriously as a composer!!!! WHAT. THE....

I am not sure if this is entirely true, but 3 decades later, if I am puzzled being asked, "So, you are a performer. AND a composer, right?" as if that is something extra-terrestrial (never mind Vivaldi, Corelli, Paganini and the gang) I am just wondering, WHEN in the world, this "categorizing" has become a norm, and being both performer and composer in classical music world has become a novelty; just in the 1900s?

If I were in charge of conservatory education, I think I would like to see that all performers are REQUIRED to compose and improvise, both. You learn so much about performance by understanding composition, or the process of composition. I am not saying that all performers need to be Ligeti or Boulez :) But wouldn't it be so much more fun to liberate ourselves creatively? On the other hand, "all composers must interpret and improvise" might not work, but still they are, as I hope, required to play at least one instrument. I do think though, if a composer could be an instrumental performer at the level who can give a public performance, that might actually help their compositions.

Would it be possible to have a structure where performance and composition world can have more fluid relationship?

Performer / Composer

2010-12-01T21:29:00.003-05:00

Today, I received another surprising and humbling news that I was awarded the Fromm Commission 2010. I submitted the proposal specifically for composing for the Cassatt String Quartet, which I also posted about last month on their kids-friendly concert. (I said "another" news, since in this astonishing one year, I not only received the IRCAM residency, but also the Guggenheim Fellowship)

I was revisiting my proposal to Fromm, which stated that I would compose an interactive piece for the quartet, which doesn't require a computer operator or assistant on stage or off-stage, but a stand-alone computer system that would work when they take it on tour. I also stated that, as a violinist who has been composing for myself mainly and have been working with interactive systems, I would have intimate knowledge of the strings as well as interactive performance.

This time, I am embarking on a strictly "composer" role. I have composed limited amount of pieces where I did not perform, but mostly, even I wrote for other instruments and orchestra, I was part of the ensemble or I was participating as a violinist. This new work for the Cassatt, I am totally retired as a performer, letting others play my music without me participating, which makes me feel a little bit in a new territory.

I feel comforted that I have a huge advantage this time, since the first violinist of the Cassatt Quartet is Muneko Otani. She studied with the same teacher with me, Toshiya Eto at Toho School in Japan. (Eto was a student of Efrem Zimberlist at Curtis, and is the first Japanese violinist to give his Carnegie Hall recital.) In terms of our violin playing, we are somehow of the "same breed" so to speak. I know how she would change her bowing strokes, sound quality etc. because she was taught the same way I was. I am formating my compositions this time not from motifs or materials, but from their sounds, her playing and her sound. I guess that's a typical performer/composer's approach :)

Mario Davidovsky, the only composition teacher I ever had, said, "You have to write for performers. If they like your piece they will kill themselves to play it, but if they don't, forget it!"

"Educational" or "indulgent" composition?

2010-11-27T20:54:00.003-05:00

I spoke about self-indulgence of improvisation I feel as a listener sometimes, but this is slightly different. I just listened to a concert with a composition that represents a particular musical theory, and the composition was "showcasing" that theory. I failed to understand the point of it, it seems, since it sounded to me as if we the audience were being "explained" or "educated" about this theory as a series of tonal experiments, or listening to a demonstration or lecture, making sure that we understand it.

I suppose it is "nice" to be explained, but I actually found this form of composition rather passive aggressive, another kind of "indulgence". Why would you want to "explain" your theory via music, instead of "expressing" music? Does the composer seek the justification of his composition or some kind of validation?

I am very curious, since I do "showcase" my Subharmonics technique, composing works for the violin that includes the "lower" pitches and the particular technique I am developing. In my new album, "The World Below G and Below", I did include a set of 6 "Caprices" for Subharmonics, which "showcase" my various technique, and music is composed to use this technique. But I hope that I am making those pieces for the sake of music, rather than the showcasing of the experiment, or for the sake of educating the public with my new technique. I hope that people will hear the music as it is, and not as some kind of an educational experience I'm forcing upon people.

Dharma in Hamburg

2010-11-24T19:01:00.003-05:00

I'm in Hamburg this week, spending the Thanksgiving in Germany. It's two years in a row I do this - I was in Munich last year! I'm Japanese and don't really have much nostalgia with turkey meat, but did bring back fond memories having Turkey with friends. I do my own turkey sometimes, but my French husband isn't that keen on the turkey taste so much--they don't eat much in France either. So not knowing how to cook, and having inviting guests for the feast, I cooked a 'practice run' which was a large chicken. I called it "practice chicken" and made my husband laugh.

Here I am rehearsing with the Hamburg Symphony. My foot pedal is doing fine, but still adjusting the sound quality of the electric violin, with compressor, filters, reverb, and so many variables. Funny I don't have to adjust sounds on my wooden box with 4 strings attached at all :) There is a funny feeling of sound you are not so sure how you are making, and completely in the hands and mercy of speakers and the sound technician at the booth.

The piece is The Dharma at Big Sur by John Adams, performance is tomorrow. I know the 'philosophical' significance of Dharma but for me, I can't shake the "Daruma-san" I grew up with, or every Japanese child grow up with! We have games like "Daruma-san, Daruma-san, let's stare at each other, the first one to laugh, loses, 1, 2, 3!!" and we make the funniest faces try to make the other person laugh. I'm doing that with my kids at home.... I guess he was a very serious guy -- oh well, having to bring ZEN to China, and said to have stared at the wall for NINE years meditating... :)　

Day of Lists

2010-11-19T09:06:00.002-05:00

Obviously I'm taking a mini-hiatus on my blog as I'm leaving tomorrow to Berlin/Hamburg.

More later, on many things but today (Friday) everything has to work like a clock-work, going through my mega-list of "to do", including taking daughter to her doctor's appointment, son's potluck, and oh yes, packing :)

Here is a picture of my DIY (do it yourself) footswitch I will use for my performance in Hamburg, high-heel safe mouse trap! (computer mouse) It's sand paper, weather tape and rubber sheet which will not slip on wooden floor :)

Head Space

2010-11-15T17:35:00.002-05:00

This week I'm in a crises mode :) Not really "crises" but I'm preparing intensely for my upcoming concert in Hamburg, Germany. I'm performing John Adams' "The Dharma at the Big Sur" with Hamburg Symphony on the Thanksgiving day.

Since the early 90s, I started to compose for myself, using violin and violin with electronics. I started to sculpt my own language, searching for my voice, so to speak. In the beginning, I was not sure of myself---still today I am often not sure of myself--and in fact I kept, and still keep, a notebook writing everyday asking myself, "What do I feel?" I was putting myself into a cheap self-therapy :) Anything that bothered me, I learned to extract what was bothering me, often a social situation. Those "bothers" I found are actually quite debilitating, and kept me from focusing on my work. It was more important, still is, that I am emotionally free of worry than trying to come up with a compositional scheme.

Today, things are more systematic and I don't get to the point where I have to ask my notebook "what do I feel?", but rather I make tons and tons of list "to do". I have a multi-faced life with family, kids, etc and I cannot keep up with everything---my head space is full. Or I like to say, my "RAM is full" :) I like to keep very empty head where I could day-dream: My 9-yr old daughter probably got it from me saying recently, "Don't bother me, I'm busy DAY-DREAMING!!" and it's the state I also like to be in :)

Speaking of head-space, and going back to composing for myself: I have met wonderful musicians, composer/performers who only compose for themselves or others, but stopped performing other people's music. For me, I absolutely LOVE going into someone else's head-space, practicing someone else's compositions, or getting onto someone else's Magic Carpet. Not performing others' music, I'm afraid, might narrow my musical understanding as a performer/composer. There are states of mind, feelings, musical languages that I cannot possibly come up with myself, and it is refreshing to learn them. It is probably as close as going surgically into someone else's brain, but without blood! Although I have been composing for myself I would very much like to keep performing as a "musician for hire" performing someone else's music.

As for how I practice, you will have to catch my husband and ask how he feels about it :) I decided to marry him (in my mind) when I took him to one of my tours performing a recital in Budapest. I had a concert to give and I had to practice so I sent him off on his own. A mathematician by training, I thought he would enjoy visiting great Hungarian mathematicians and artists monuments and spots to visit. He came back very tired, when I was practicing Luciano Berio's Sequenza No. 8 (by the way, the 1976 work, it was me who gave the US premiere in 1994 in NYC! Nobody touched it until then. I got a nice hand-written note from Berio.)

Oblivious to my quite a painful repetitive practicing to listen to (I'm sure), he went to sleep with no problem. It was this moment I thought, OK, if he can survive my Berio practicing, he would survive me and my life! :)

Freedom and Limitations

2010-11-13T23:19:00.003-05:00

This sort of 'grandiose' title isn't trying to be an op-ed piece for New York Times or anything :) I'm narrowly focusing on something I am working with, with myself and with my students on when you start creating interactive computer music. Recently I was showing my students at Juilliard my older piece called Polytopia, while discussing the creative process and tools to use. In the piece I only use basically two techniques, delay and pitch shifting. As I described in the post about it, I started from having a vision of 6 violinists virtually running around in a Surround 5.1 space while playing like mad :) Then the technique fell in place--all six 'virtual' violinists need to be independent in realtime with no recorded materials in pitch and in timing; thus the delays, a little bit of realtime sampling and pitch shifting.

When you compose for an acoustic instrument such as a solo violin, you are basically confined to the instrument's mechanical limitations (and yes, even with my range-expanding Subharmonics :) Let's say, a percussionist with longest limbs with several instruments, and who seemingly have no limitations in the palette of sounds, still has his/her limitations. Within that limitation, you are completely free to be creative.

With computer music, your choices are so vast in choosing what to use. You are more than free, you are virtually boundary-less. How do you find yourself to be free creatively, when there is no limitation? In fact, isn't it even harder to be free, when there is no mechanical limitation? There is no wonder many "art" computer programs, visual and audio, have some kind of "presets" so the users are not completely lost; there is a starting point of some kind where the users could latch onto at first. But doesn't pre-made-by-someone-else "presets" limit the individual freedom and creativity? Can a person with body sensors, internet, 100s of banks of sound with high-power computer or smart-phones, make equally as amusing and creative performance as a guy in the subway plucking away on an upside-down tin bucket with one rope attached, an instant bass? Who is creatively "freer", the computer performer or the bucket guy? :)

The taste you don't understand

2010-11-12T02:07:00.000-05:00

I went to a concert, a very well attended contemporary music concert. It was a last-minute thing and I didn't quite know the program nor what to expect, and I went for a pleasant surprise. In a typical New York city new music concert fashion, the audience included many colleagues and friends.

The concert, which was in the style of semi-written, semi-improvised form, had its good moments, and also I thought, not so good moments. It wasn't bad, but not extraordinary in my opinion. However, my company, who are good friends of mine--and we do share good deal of similar tastes in music--were absolutely raving about it as if it was one of the best things they have heard. Then I realized, this particular company I had, are from an older generation, sharing different taste and history which I didn't belong to.

I do realize that I come from a classical background, growing up with Western classical music in isolated Japan. I was quite sheltered in an "ivory tower" of elite classical conservatories for a long time. At present, I do a lot of contemporary music, I do compose myself and consider myself quite open to all kinds of sounds and music. But this particular concert, and the audience who seemed to have shared the same language and values, I did not understand. I didn't understand their taste.

I thought about it quite a bit, since I am very curious when I don't understand something. Then I thought about food. There is a food I couldn't eat as a youngster--namely Japanese "Natto", rotten or fermented beans. To a first timer, it simply stinks and some might even think it's gross. I thought so when I was a pre-teen. Then one day, I tried it and became very fond of it. It was an "acquired" taste for me. Is it possible that what I heard at this concert could be my "Natto"? It very well maybe.

But then, once I become "used" to the taste, do I forget the part that was revolting or unpleasing? Suppose I get "used to" the kind of music I heard, and start to understanding it; would I then disassociate from the taste of people who don't find it interesting? I somehow like to remember that I used to hate the smell of Natto, and now I can eat it or even like it. I don't think I can find it revolting again. However, as an artist, I would also like to remember my present and past tastes, and if possible, go in and out of the time past and present, in taste.

Art of Tool Making, Art of Art making

2010-11-10T11:37:00.002-05:00

It used to be in the old times, tool makers made tools such as instruments; violin builders were not violinists although surely there were able to play the instrument; they were not artists USING their tools.

Today, especially with computer technology, computer programmers and engineers, many of them are also musicians or at least, composers. They create their tools to invent their own musical tools, thus of course they would make music using their tools. In the particular circle of interactive computer technology and electronic music, the tool and the field itself has been somewhat confined to those who can operate them; it is changing rapidly and those of us without the computer science background, can now relatively easily access the latest technology to create music. It hasn't become as easy as someone sliding in front the piano and start creating masterpieces, but still, it's coming.

The peculiarity of today's tool-driven music making, is that there isn't much time for the tool and the users to mature, tested, evolve etc. Of course they do, a lot smaller in scale compared to the history of pianos or violins. And that is OK. The tool makers have to keep creating tools, for money or getting their "inventions" published for tenure, etc. Computer operating systems gets upgrade, software companies need to keep churning out new functions and versions. So there are user groups, forums etc. to keep up with them. This is simply the fact of economy-driven art today.

Of course the argument "for" these new form of art is that we are creating a new ways of human expression. We are giving ourselves the new dimension in creating art. We are not replacing the past, we are continuing the tradition of art making and expanding it. With the new version and software, comes the new art. And that's all valid.

My question is, are the tool makers making as excellent "art makers"? Do the computer-programming "tool makers" who make art, making as good art as an excellent Jazz performer from the streets of New Orleans because of these sophisticated tools?

This isn't very comfortable, but it is a question that has to be asked. As a friend recently said, the "time" might take care of it---what seems hip and new today, might very well be forgotten in 10 years and those with true lasting power would survive to the next generation. There are street musicians in New Orleans today, but OS9 is dead :)

Magic Carpet

2010-11-09T00:40:00.003-05:00

I talked about when improvisation fails, or if there is a "wrong note" in improvisation. I said in more motivic or context-based possible "wrong" note, when improvisation appears not working too well.

When a musical performance--any performance, classical, contemporary or improvisation, isn't working, one way it sounds to the audience, is as if the music is 'losing steam'. Before you go on stage, or at least before you start playing, either on your own (solo), with accompanist, or with orchestra, i.e. before the music start, I like to see an imaginary stream, like a jet-stream where I'm supposed to hop onto. To be more substantial, one could imagine a Magic Carpet, which isn't stationary but is coming around for you to hop onto.

The point I'm trying to make is, the movement of music, or the "time" itself is already there before you start playing; it is like a stream of air that's already moving. You are to get onto that "time stream" while you mold the rhythm of your music in it, but not trying to artificially start or create it. It is easier that way, to imagine you "join" the already-happening "time stream" to play your first note, rather than trying to get the Magic Carpet float from the ground.

This is probably too abstract but I really don't know how else to describe it. But if you don't do this "hopping onto the Magic Carpet", or worse, you fall from it during the concert--which happens-- the performance feels as if it has lost its steam. I have, of course, felt it myself, and it is a bad experience. More than half a year ago, I had a semi-informal concert, which was a small dinner-concert where I ate before I played, which was a mistake. My attention wasn't really there, and my Magic Carpet fell. I wasn't interested in my own playing which still remains as a bad memory.

As a performer, a goal is for every performance I give to be a good memory, and not have a bad experience. That is truly important, since what you did last is what you build upon. We have to keep the Magic Carpet flying.

Final thoughts on Improvisation: Becoming a "Medium"

2010-11-06T14:46:00.003-04:00

When I am on stage performing, I tend to imagine myself disappear. I literally walk out on stage as "Mari Kimura", who is just DELIVERING something to the audience, and not Mari Kimura who PERSONALLY has something to say or to express.

Last month, I posted a thoughts on Having Something to Say. I was speaking about listening to "boring" performance and wondered why. When I am performing, I am having something to say, but not myself personally. This is true in being both as an interpreter and performer/composer or improvisor.

Ever since I was young, I always had a feeling of "separation" within myself; I was floating away and looking at myself from outside. It used to scare me as a child, and it happened often especially when I was sick or coming down with a cold; it was like almost having a nightmare while being awake. Curiously, today I have internalized it, and I automatically "externalize" myself when I am performing. This was a conscious decision, or a form of "self protection" after experiencing years of quite a harsh "stage fright" all through my adolescent years growing up in the most competitive music conservatories. I became so nervous before performance, I used to almost throw up weeks before concerts, my pulse would become very fast and I would hyper ventilate; it was rather pathetic. So I had to work on a method to overcome my nervousness. I read many books on acting, especially Stanislawski. This subject is for another post, but what I achieved, or what I have become, is to be someone other than myself, when performing.

I stopped being afraid on stage, because I myself wasn't there anymore. I become someone else, or at least a "Mari Kimura" who is merely delivering the "3rd dimension", the musical flow I talked about, expressing and communicating to the audience. I become sort of a "medium". I lost the reason to be afraid on stage, since I have nothing personally at stake; I understood that the reason you maybe afraid on stage, is because you have something personal to lose. Since I am a "medium", my failure and success depends on how I'm able to deliver as kind of a "middleman" between music and the audience, and "Mari Kimura" myself has really nothing to do with it except to managing it.

In my real life as "Mari Kimura", I like to keep myself quite neutral; there are more flamboyant type of artists whose personal life, demeanor or mannerism maybe more "artiste"; their professional and personal profiles are closely related. That would probably help my career advanced since people seem to need to put you in a "artist" box, and expect you to act and dress like one! I really consider myself quite plain in person, not a "performer" in social occasions or parties etc. I like having a quiet, normal life with my family, except when I am on stage or recording. Then I become someone else. Improvisation is the same, and I like being someone else, or a "Medium", completely detaching myself from my quotidian life.

Thoughts on Improvisation (3): Is there a WRONG note?

2010-11-04T12:07:00.003-04:00

Let's me think about when improvisation "doesn't work", or at least, from my audience point of view in contemporary free improvisation context (not cultural, ceremonial etc). Is there a wrong note you can play?

Yesterday I talked about the "3rd dimension" or a kind of musical flow that is not on paper or written notes. I think that in any performance, classical or contemporary, or any performing arts in that matter, needs this "3rd dimension" that is not on the score or text, to bring the performance to life in order to communicate. Again, I still have doubts that in some improvisation circles, "communication" may not be the goal. I just don't know.

When you don't have a score, and let's say that you are performing the "3rd dimension", I do believe you could play it wrong, by somehow losing a thread, or a "train of thought" so to speak. And that may be equivalent of playing a wrong note. The performer could go on exploring musical materials for a while, but there comes a time the exploration itself becomes some kind of a purpose of performance, and NOT what you are trying to communicate across. Again, if the performance is meant to "explore" music in front the audience without the regard to the outcome as a musical performance "communicating" with audience, and if the performer-audience relationship is not based on communication but rather, a performer and a kind of "spectator" who is witnessing the exploration, then those "spectator" maybe satisfied.

The "train of thought" is again, like a conversation; you could be talking about an "egg" (for example, I don't know why! :) cultural significance, old legends, nutrition or recipes. The point is, when you are talking about eggs, you probably don't talk about a jeep. But the fun part is, if you did mention a word jeep in the middle of old ancient Japanese mythical story about eggs, then you could somehow tie the jeep into Sci-Fi-esque story! And that's the fun thing about improvisation as you probably don't do that in real life. Or you might not tie that in, and decide to have two completely different, parallel world within your dialog. But in that case, you would probably want to develop both at the same time. The point I'm trying to make is, it could be random but it still needs to be presented as such.

But if this isn't the case, those who do not wish to be a spectator who takes a pleasure in witnessing the experimental exploration rather than musical communication, and the audience who feel "trapped" by not being communicated to, are being alienated by the performer?

In that case, I am pretty sure the experimental and free improvisation will surely stay in a very small circle of people who like to spectate, and surely will be difficult to get programmed in main stream concerts where at least some audience expect "communication". And that very well maybe the way to be.

Thoughts on Improvisation (2): The 3rd dimension

2010-11-03T08:46:00.000-04:00

As I continue my Thoughts on Improvisation, today I would like to start to put in words how I try not to be a "self-indulgent" improvisor :)

Recently I was having a conversation with an artistic director of a prominent institution, who is said to be "friendly" towards improvisation. However I sensed that, like most people in an established administrative positions, he would be more "comfortable" if a performer like me would comfortably fit myself wearing an "interpreter" hat playing "scored" or "composed" work put down on paper. This is besides the point, but I think the "fear" among the establishment towards the free improvisation form comes from not really musically understanding what is happening, or one fears that he/she is listening to someone who is making random noise, thus hard to evaluate the performance/performer artistically. And that is totally understandable.

At IRCAM in September during my exit talk, I said that I now need a "3 dimensional score", adding to what we have now, the two dimension one. I need the 3rd dimension to describe the "wave" or the "flow" of the music, which moves 3D or maybe even 4D in space (I will talk about this "4th" later). And this 3rd dimension, in any mode of performance whether it's classical or contemporary or even improvisation, is where the musical performance lies, and what audience is being presented to. It is this 3rd dimension, the "musical flow" that the performer creates, "interpreting" what has been reduced to 2 dimension by the composer. It is as if the performer is "re-inflating" the musical flow a composer has imagined, but then forced to shrink down to 2D in order to let others try to understand his/her music.

For me, free improvisation is performing directly in this 3rd dimensional mode, without the 1st and 2nd dimension, the written notes. In another words, you don't need the specific notes, rhythm and timing spelled out, but directly express what is inside the 3rd dimension.

Thoughts on Improvisation (1)

2010-11-01T09:33:00.006-04:00

First off, I said (1) since I probably have a lot to think about....

I often think of improvisation as non-verbal communication, speech, or conversation. "Communication" by default, you have a "person" whom you are conversing with. That "person" in fact, could be a real one, imaginary one, a dead one, not just one but several people, or even yourself. There are many schools and tradition of improvisation, and having no so-called 'tradition' such as jazz attached to my background, but just being a so-called "natural" improvisor, I mainly listen to this "conversation".

People listen to improvisations in different ways. For me, it is about listening to what is "being said". I like to think like a dinner table, a dinner conversation with several people. Two people started to share a topic, or one person started to speak about a topic. Then they can agree, disagree, talking over each other, speaking in parallel passionately arguing. Or one can choose not to say anything verbally but silently thinking about it, expressing within him/herself.

When improvisation "works" for the listeners, I think at least one of the above "communication" is somewhat established. Otherwise, the performance become self-indulgent. This happens more often, in fact VERY often; the performer starts to improvise in his/her own space, not communicating, and audience is trapped being force-fed the self-indulgent "monologue". I too often find myself feeling "trapped" as a listener. My husband, who is a very open-minded listener of any kind of music, describes it well, "It is as if you are taken as a hostage".

How do you avoid this? How does one improvise and not be self-indulgent but communicative? Or, in some improvisation tradition or circles, it is in fact NOT the point to communicate, but indeed to BE self-indulgent? And some people like listening to the self-indulgence, or don't consider that as a passive-aggressive form of performance? And "like" being taken as "hostage" audience?

Listening to something you haven't heard

2010-10-23T10:48:00.002-04:00

I've been working with my students at Juilliard, on how to start composing for interactive music. The conventional paper-pencil developing of musical materials do still work, laying out motifs, planning the total landscape, constructing the architecture with rhythm, melody and harmony of the piece etc.

However, in interactive computer music, you have to train yourself to listening to something you haven't heard before, or try to imagine it. I believe it starts much more with the instrument you are writing for; really knowing its characteristics, what it can and cannot do acoustically. Since there are acoustically "impossible" things you can now do with computers, it is somewhat a difficult task to open your ears trying to listen to somethings that you haven't heard before. It could very well be very similar to orchestration, imagining instrument combinations, but at this point, a lot has already been done and you could actually get a recording of it. Better yet, if you want to you could simulate some sounds using samplers!

So how do you listen to something you haven't heard? Or try to imagine? I have to say that there isn't much you can do except try things out to the best of your abilities, and the varieties you could think of. The best way to approach would still be "imagining" the abstract character you are trying to achieve, then deduct what you want it to happen electronically. I do this for my own compositions, but it is difficult to explain to students (or others) how to go about it. What I'm telling people is to "think of going to Mars" or beyond, such as "If I play C#, I launch a rocket to Mars and I beam in", "Oh and I also want to beam up my teddy bear from the 3rd drawer of a closet in my old bedroom when I lived in Japan 30 years ago" !!! Can I do that? :)

String Quartet concert for kids!

2010-10-18T01:43:00.008-04:00

The Cassatt String Quartet gave a very nice concert this weekend at the Symphony Space in NYC entitled "Arriba!" featuring contemporary Mexican composers. What made this particular evening special is that they said the concert was FAMILY FRIENDLY!!!! I took my 9 and 7 yr olds who sat through a full-length evening of contemporary string quartet concert for the first time in their lives. It wasn't exactly an easy program for kids to sit through, but they did. There were other children in the audience, and yes, they were some murmurs, soft-spoken-then-hushed comments such as "I'm bored....", and occasional squiggling and walking around, but all in all, I can't thank the Cassatt enough for giving the kids this opportunity.

And it is a brave thing to do, risking some noise while performing which can be very distracting and disrupting, but if you don't nurture the future generation, how would we survive?

Of course, I was armed with Clif bars (snack bar), husband, and his iPhone which has some games on for them, but still, it was great for my kids to be able to wave at the players at the front row. There is something to listening to actual acoustic instruments live, instead of sounds coming out of speakers. You feel the vibration in your body differently, and it is kinetic; it's a physical sensation, and it's an emotional experience seeing someone moving their bodies and making music. Next up, symphony concerts and opera :) well wish us luck!

CD release concert, now putting a different hat on :)

2010-10-15T18:34:00.004-04:00

My CD release concert last Sunday went very well, everything worked as it should (well, alllllmmmmosst). I had one little glitch in a "pedal" piece; I was creating a pedal without a foot pedal sustaining my sounds, which I cut off by my bowing motion sensor. At one instance the motion sensor failed to track it, so I couldn't turn it off at a first try, so I had to repeat a note. A friend in the audience said that it was almost better to show that sometimes it fails :) Here I am doing some demo during the concert, waving my right hand with the bowing motion sensor, IRCAM's Augmented Violin system inside.

But all in all I am quite satisfied with the result of my new pieces, and I have a good ground to develop my works further. I created three short pieces at IRCAM, sort of in preparation for my new duo work with cellist Joel Krosnick, the cellist of the Juilliard String Quartet.

At the moment, what am I doing? I am studying Just Intonation, since now I will be wearing a different 'hat', an "interpreter" hat, performing next month in Germany with Hamburg Symphony as a soloist, for John Adams' "The Dharma at the Big Sur" (2003). I'm studying the solo part, and trying to get my ears into Just Intonation mode. It is quite ideosincratic I think, if it is done right.... Anyway I like learning something that I haven't heard nor can create on my own, getting into the head-space of someone else's creative mind. It is thrilling.

The World Below G and Beyond, NEW CD release

2010-09-27T09:37:00.003-04:00

On Sunday, October 10th at 7PM, I'm giving a CD release concert at Tenri Cultural Institute in NYC. My new album is entitled "The World Below G and Beyond" released by the Mutable Music label. At the concert, I will perform pieces on the album, as well as works using the Augmented Violin system, a bowing motion sensor and analysis program developed by the Real Time Musical Interactions team at IRCAM. I use the Augmented Violin to "clone" my playing, to "changing the past" (or what I call creating the "elastic past"), and to use it as a "sustain pedal" WITHOUT using a foot pedal :) These new works were created during my stay in Paris this summer. For further information on the concert program and the CD, please visit:
http://www.marikimura.com/wbgb.html

"The World Below G and Beyond" (Mutable Music) CD release concert
Presented by Electronic Music Foundation and Mari Kimura
Sunday, October 10th at 7PM at Tenri Cultural Institute, NYC
43A West 13th Street between 5th and 6th Avenues
http://www.tenri.org/general/directions.shtml

Tickets:
$15 General Admission
$25 for tickets+signed CD
Tickets can be purchased at the door, or Online at:
https://www.smarttix.com/show.aspx?showcode=WOR44

“Mari Kimura has performed astounding explorations of new sonic territories on the violin, extending its range to The Word Below G and Beyond: this indispensable historic recording retraces her instrumental and compositional inventions.”

Jean-Claude Risset

Technology and Performance

2010-09-22T22:26:00.003-04:00

Well, this is just about one of my main subjects in life ;)

When there is a division of labor, i.e. performers are "interpreters" and just perform, programmers program, how does one know what could work, or crash your performance? Since I got into the "car" metaphor at IRCAM :) if I am a race car driver I would like to know what kind of turns I can make with my car and how fast, and the tricks I can play. I would like to know what might crash my car if I do certain tricks.

So, although I might not be able to tighten the volts on the car by myself, I would like to know how many times it has to be tightened and how often. After all you are on the driver seat = you are on stage and you are the one to face the audience. This isn't about being afraid if things might crash, but is a responsibility to yourself and for your audience.

Of course this is easily said and done... I wish myself good luck next time! :)

Having something to say

2010-09-17T15:51:00.005-04:00

When you listen to either a new composition, interpretation of a new composition, traditional classical repertoire, improvisation or anything really, as an audience I listen to what is "being said". I don't listen to particular patterns, follow pitches analytically or too carefully, but the overall impression of "something being said".

I have seen and heard performers or students with perfect technique, impeccable technical skills but who are utterly boring to listen to. What is there to teach them? They are clearly talented, there is nothing else to be learned technically; they have mastered it all. They might have won competitions and even have a concert career. But they are boring to listen to. What does "boring" mean? To me, it is a performance that has "nothing to say".

Some teachers express their discontentment with comments like "Have more life experience, see the world, fall in love and live your life, then you have something to say!", which, in my opinion, is utterly useless. Even with all the experiences above, boring musicians are still boring. I think it is really a technical skill to be more expressive and communicative. It's a skill that one could acquire to be a more effective performer, and musician.

How could one teach someone to have "something to say"? I am thinking Stanislawski, or the "method". Having an emotional context and logic that the listeners could follow. You need the technique to build that architecture of performance, build the structure, finish it, decorate it and put plants and arts inside. For some, especially child prodigies, this skill seems to come naturally without thinking. Their world seems in tact perfectly as it is, and there is nothing to be corrected. That is, until they grow up and start thinking. Then everything has to be restructured.

A new season, regrouping

2010-09-16T15:35:00.001-04:00

Now that we have entered a new school year, and back in NYC, things are grinding along; YES! My new album is FINISHED, and now printing. It is entitled "The World Below G and Beyond: works for Violin Subharmonics and Interactive Computer", coming out next month from Mutable Music label. I am organizing a CD-release concert in NYC on Sunday, October 10th at 7PM. More details later....

On the family front, I have found a wonderful new assistant for my kids, a Francophone Swiss student from Columbia University. I said "assistant" and not babysitter, since I also benefit from practicing my French speaking with her! My husband and I are getting English out of the house, and I'm slowing moving towards Japanese via French :) This way, the kids will speak English to the rest of the world around them but keep the languages of their parents... or at least that's the plan. This means I am speaking French with my kids with my not-so-great grammar....and I feel I'm back in school! It's not easy! :)

There are several other projects I'm preparing at the moment. My life is moving in parallel, and I'm a list maker... my "RAM" is full, so I have to write down everything I have to do. Yet I still forget things. I did miss my medical appointment the day after we came back from France... totally forgot and must reschedule.

Back in NYC, Paris peeves :)

2010-09-08T22:49:00.026-04:00

Now everything is quickly coming back to where it was. I'm back home in NYC, and within short 3 days my children and I got haircuts (husband? hmmm...), attended a Gala Fashion show (me?!) organized by the Vilcek Foundation with whom I will be collaborating on a project this year, went to Juilliard convocation and shook hands, both kids went back to school (and here is my poor little boy crying separating from me, and who came back home so happy declaring "What an AWESOME day!!") and I made lunch boxes at 7AM. I switched my Parisian "carnet" (subway ticket) to Metrocard, and I think now my re-assimilation as a New Yorker is complete :)

I am at the final editing phrase of my upcoming solo CD "The World Below G and Beyond" (Mutable Music label) booklet before it goes to print, reading and re-reading the program notes, finding little things here and there every time. There should be an end to this! :) This is the culmination of all my works using Subharmonics, as well as some interactive computer works. I'm very nervous about casting any of my work in stone!

Now that my life in Paris is over, and those of you who have been reading my posts know how much I loved my time there. What I haven't done however, is to list the 'peeves', the reason why Paris will probably remain a place where I would LOVE to VISIT, but not to settle or to live in a long term.

Peeve No.1: SMOKE.
This is perhaps the biggest one, which might seem silly to some people. Although my mother-in-law assures me it was because of the summer and people are more outside, I just cannot, can NOT get used to smoking one cigarette a day by just second-hand smoking on the street. Wouldn't it be so nice if I could just sit outside and enjoy a cup of coffee and delicious croissant in a picturesque Parisian café looking at the beautiful architecture... and when I do it, BANG! the whole experience gets ruined by the first-thing-in-the-morning cigarette-breathing experience. I went out very little for breakfast (I think only once) and ate at home. France is a country of tolerance, I understand. Then I really cannot belong to a place where non-smokers aren't tolerated but smokers are. Although there are now laws to prohibit smoking in public places, they still smoke in public places and they ARE tolerated. My husband told me to "Just get used to it". I can't, and I won't. Now I'm breathing easier here in Manhattan.

Peeve No.2: Subway :)
After getting squashed several times in those strange but powerful rubber-encased glass doors that open and shut at the most mysterious timing after you insert your 'carnet', I learned to time myself 'musically' (it seems it's a dotted-quarter note in q=86 tempo LOL!) not to get squashed. This might be speaking volumes for French culture of "control". In NYC subway, after you swipe your Metrocard, the turnstile is activated and you are free to go WHEN YOU CHOOSE to go through. You are in control. In Paris, after you insert and collect your carnet, it is the DOOR THAT DECIDES the timing when you are allowed to pass through. IT has the control, not you. UPDATE: just come to think of it, Tokyo metro works the same as Paris.

Peeve No.3: More Subway :)
There are now the newest subway cars that have automatic doors, which open after the subway comes to a complete stop. But the most of them have either a button or a little lever handle that the passengers open on their own, when the subway comes to a NEAR stop. The result is that the subway is usually still moving when someone opens the door. I'm surprised there aren't many accidents especially involving children. Then I didn't see that many children on the subway as we do here in NYC. My husband said small kids don't really get out of the areas where they live, and they really don't have much need to get on subways. It scares me a lot, and glad I didn't have to bring up my kids there. Now, contrary to the Peeve no.2, this seems to giving too much 'control' to the user. What gives?!

Peeve No.4: La Poste
I understand, it is a governmental post office/bank combined, very protective of people and has good rates. But I really would like my husband to close that account, since he cannot get a credit card to his own account (since he doesn't live there) and I, his wife but non-French citizen, have no right to the account. However I could deposit my IRCAM salary as much as I wanted there. What a business model :) So we had to go around them for me to use my own money, using husband's debit card. UPDATE: Husband says it's the same in all French banks.

Peeve No. 5: Division of Labor
This is quite general, and there must be exceptions. But my impression is that France is a country where things are done by people who are only 'qualified' to do so. You aren't allowed to touch, change, modify, even think about things that don't belong to your expertise, or what they call your 'métier'. Of course, the upside is the superb quality control; just anyone's sister-in-law can't be selling bread in France, you have to be 'qualified' to do so. Things are controlled. The downside, which makes me feel stifling, is the lack of freedom to move 'horizontally' in society. A mathematician cannot be bakers. Probably a bright neuroscientist aren't that encouraged to becoming a violinist (see David Soldier /Dave Sultzer). Even at IRCAM, engineers don't 'do art', and composers don't program; they have 'assistants' who help them. In NYC I do everything, mostly by necessity. I do everything from composing, programming, producing, and performing. By doing so I learn a lot about all aspect of music I make, and I like it that way for myself. Although I do hope that things are slowly changing, I cannot belong to a place where I have to do only one thing that I'm 'supposed to do'. Life is short. My friend Martha sent me this interesting article about French education system.

Peeve No. 6: Cobble stones
This is what the charm of Paris, France is, I'm sure. The cobble stones on the streets. It's HELL for my feet and my heels. I just don't understand how French women walk on those things with those beautiful shoes. I guess I'm not trained right.

UPDATE: And now my husband is saying I have become FRENCH, as I complain like this LOL!!!

Final Day in France

2010-09-04T12:15:00.021-04:00

This is my last France posting, after 3 weeks of hiatus towards the last-spurt, my 'exit' presentation at IRCAM on Thursday, giving the Radio France interview. In the end, EVERYTHING WORKED :) And that is how it should be... and that is why I double, triple, quadruple+ times check and re-check until things run 150% of the time, since that is the only way you can be sure it runs 100% of the time. Anyone who had a conservatory training like I did, won't think twice about this discipline and I apply it to my own interactive performance. This is crucial especially when you work with Prototypes, since the builders want to constantly improve their mechanisms but I have a performing deadline. And it's hard.... Here is my main collaborator Frédéric Bevilacqua who made last-minute adjustments for me. The presentation was filmed and will be posted on IRCAM website, which I will share with you once it is up. Here is one of my slides, illustrating the two methods: things that should be but might not work ("Lamborghini") and the way I would go around it to make it work ("Toyota"). After working with four European men (French, German, Swiss and Italian!) for the entire summer I became one of the 'guys' :)

One thing though, struck me, similar to the feeling I got earlier in my stay here after listening to the formidable performance of Ensemble InterContemporain. There was a question at my presentation at IRCAM which was, "What is the FEAR factor?" for me performing interactive music, of being afraid something won't work on stage. Although I answered that I am usually with a violin, a box with 4 strings attached and have to make sure to change the string, this question saddened me. Since when, music, or musical performance, has become something to be afraid of? Of course there is 'stage fright', but this is something more serious. Music is supposed to be fun and joy. There are enough things in life to be afraid of. Fear, is when your young son has a burst appendix and lying helplessly inside an ambulance, or being told that you have a cancer and have to see an oncologist to get chemotherapy. I know these fears (my cancer was relatively benign, 12 yrs ago). Compared to these real-life events, music is just music, nobody is dying, or getting hurt. If musical experience connects to fear, what is the point of it?

Radio France interview was also a lot of fun, and considering after I had consumed three servings of Sake I served for the after-talk reception at IRCAM, I survived. After I recorded a few items in a studio at Radio France during which everyone spoke in English for me, my sweetest Radio host Bruno Letort declaired "Mainetenant, on parle QUE en Français!" (now we only speak in French). I am quite mortified with my first interview in French and kind of glad I will be sitting on the plane when it will be on the air tomorrow, but alas, it will also be on the internet... :)

I also had visitors and a bit of social life as well; my friend from Japan and today's premiere concerto soloist, Kyoko Takezawa who now lives in Paris, came to visit IRCAM and tried my system, then we went for lunch. We shared a same babysitter in NYC, but never had time to spend such a day together. I also demo-ed my subharmonics for her. Here is Kyoko wearing my sensor glove. As a violinist of the top-caliber, she understood immediately what I was doing with the bowing sensor for musical expression.

Also a good friend and French composer Marc Battier invited me to his home for dinner in Neuilly, and there I made a delightful acquaintance with an Opera composer John Eaton and his wife visiting from New Jersey. We'd forgotten to take pictures, until we were in Marc's garage on the way home, and I thought that it's better later than never :)

All in all, my 3-months life in Paris was spectacular. You have to remember that I am usually a stay-home mom, and this was a once-in-the-lifetime opportunity for me to devote my time entirely to my work, all thanks to my extraordinary support system; my parents-in-law in Picardie, who kept my children, and most of all my husband, who let me do what I do, who worked in NYC for 2 months without his family. I loved living in Paris, its food, architecture, food, pastries, and food :) I was treated so well at IRCAM and I feel I did what I set out to do, thanks to the Real Time Musical Interaction Team, all of whom went out of their way to accommodated and supported me. We now have a standing collaborative relationship, which we will be continuing without missing a beat.

I am however, equally glad to go home, to get back into my own life in NYC, to get back to reality.

Since this is my last French post, you have to bear with me; I needed a lot of help from the marvel of French pastries. Here are what I had consumed ALL on my own. This is the grand finale. You could probably tell things were quite intense, when these pastries have to pay visits next to my computer and the violin.

3 more weeks in Paris...

2010-08-08T05:41:00.013-04:00

Some family and friends lamented that my blogging has not been updated :) I now have less than 3 weeks left in Paris...

I haven't really bragged about the Paris weather, knowing many of my friends and family in New York and Japan are having a horrifically hot one... Paris is average of 18-20C (around low 60F) and very, very beautiful this August. Besides I spend most of time indoors without a window in air-conditioned studio, so I decided to do a day of tourism for change.

I went on wondering about in my neighborhood the Marais. It is a posh area, with many fashionable stores that I would probably have nothing I can afford :) Here is a beautiful store of beads; like any women (sorry if I'm mistaken) I have entertained the idea of making my own jewelry and failed, or at least I am never confident enough in wearing my own creations in public! But I do proudly wear ones my kids make for me :) This store could revive my imaginary hobby again.

As my brother-in-law Frédéric suggested, I went to Paris Musée Carnavalet, the city museum of Paris. He said that it has a very good description of the French Revolution from the point of view of Parisians, and it was true. I could not help but to stop and be grateful to the people of this country for the "liberté, egalité, fratanité", seeing many panels of the "Rights of Men", and feel the amount of blood that was shed. When you walk on the streets of Paris, you feel it. There was a drum which played the rhythm "liberté, egalité", the hand-made ladder that was used to break through the infamous Bastille prison. The real objects that were touched by people, the evidence of people's kinetic memory can transport you to that time, more than any description of the revolution.

I am now composing and preparing for my upcoming appearances, incorporating the tools that we have developed together. Some are still 'under construction' but as I remind my collaborators, I am the one on stage and things have to work :) It is simply not acceptable that a program works 'most of the time'. It has to work 150% of the time to be on stage. I take robustness and crudeness of the program over an elegant program that looks good but crashes sometime! Or an old version that works over a new version that is unstable. Those of you in Paris, you are welcome to attend my 'exit' presentation on Thursday, September 2nd at 12:00 at Salle Stravinsky at IRCAM. Please let me know as I need to make a guest list.

My host at IRCAM Norbert Schnell and I have been having some late dinners; in general people eat late here. Or maybe even in NYC we eat earlier than 'grown ups' without small kids! This is the famous L'As du Fallafel where there usually is a huge line during the day. I was told it is the "world best" including the middle east. I could eat here everyday. I also had a very nice Tajine near Belleville, again with Norbert after we fixed some of my bugs even on a Sunday.

I'm preparing for my life after IRCAM, now using all my own equipment to make sure things run on my own. After my presentation at IRCAM on September 2nd, I will go to Radio France in the same afternoon and record an interview, planning to perform with my own system. It'd better work. :) The broadcast will be on September 5th while I am going to be sitting in the airplane back to JFK.

ps. This is a tea store called Mariage Frères, one of my favorite stores. I don't know if my husband remembers, but when we just started dating he asked what he could bring from Paris. I said, "Please go to MARIAGE Frères, and get me a kind called EROS". Poor man, he really didn't stand a chance :)

Last month in Paris

2010-08-02T17:22:00.006-04:00

(Wednesday) I'm cold. It's 11:20 PM and freezing cold here in the basement studio of IRCAM. I'm wearing two long sleeve sweaters, wool scarf and thin comforter on my lap! It is so quiet and I must be one of the only people here. July was calm but August is so quiet the BEST time to be here at IRCAM, I was told. I hear June and September are the worst with everyone coming back in force and festivals in June.

(Friday) I have been completely immersed in work, barely coming up for air. Because of the intensity, and need to stay inside this ice-cold Studio 1 at IRCAM, I brought in electric water boiler for my Oolong tea, blanket, leg warmer, sweater and scarf. It's very comfortable. My children are with grandparents visiting Brive la Gaillard (south of Limoge, north of Toulouse), a fois gras country where my sister-in-law lives. I would have gone with them but I really need to make a dent in what I'm trying to do...

I do occasionally dine out, when friends come to visit or someone at IRCAM asks me out. I went out with my dear Florence, the administrator of IRCAM who takes a great care of me. She took me to a restaurant near Les Halles, and I had the most fabulous "Dorade". Again I was silent in eating this. Then my old Juilliard classmate, turned out we also both went to Boston University, Chris Culpo came to visit and he took me to his favorite hound near Rue Rambuteau called Le Feteu. The owner Jerry said "Oh it was the birthday of Pierre Boulez yesterday!" How nice that a restaurant owner would proclaim the birthday of a composer. Paris is a big city but somehow it still retains that old small village quality. I had the most, most..... delicious Boudin (blood sausage) here, and learning I'm a visitor at IRCAM he said I'm welcome back anytime, and I certainly will. After all they had my favorite Confit de Canard, and judging from how Boudin tasted like...

My work now is very intense because I am now in the creative phase using all the hard work my team has been creating with me. The new ideas between us keep on growing in the form of, "Oh by the way, how if we do..." and off we go for another Holy Grail hunting. It is truly a rewarding experience. Here is my main host this summer Norbert Schnell who is one of the most elegant scientist/programmer cleaning up my mess grimacing :) and fixing my "DIY" (do it yourself) bulldozing programs.

(Saturday) For once I wasn't at IRCAM last night after midnight and had a decent sleep. I vowed myself to visit a museum today, Hôtel Carnavalet, Museum of the city of Paris which is in the Marais. Then I must go eat that famous Falafel. There is always a huge line I get discouraged...

Jean-Claude Risset and late nights at IRCAM

2010-07-29T20:23:00.022-04:00

Ok, so this is officially bad :) I have not been back home until 2AM, just to sleep here and back to IRCAM in the morning. I'm thrown back into my pre-family days when I just worked and spent time for myself, with no family and obligation. It is also precisely why I decided to HAVE a family and have a life---this cannot last very long. This time, my 'life' comes back tomorrow in the form of two children who are arriving from their holiday camps.

Paris at late night, especially here in the Marais, is so embracingly gentle, I think because of the Gay bars. I walk from IRCAM to Cités des Arts past 2AM and there are many nicely dressed men in duos. It makes me feel so safe and it is truly a gentle atmosphere. I really adore the Marais. These past few evenings I spent with Jean-Claude Risset. He took me out to a restaurant near Les Halles, I think it was called Petite Normande or something but cannot remember... I will find it again. It is where he said in the 70s, "Mme Davis" of San Francisco's Davis Hall, a millionaire, took out French composers for dinner with John Chowning's restaurant recommendation. There was Chowing, Luciano Berio, Pierre Boulez and Jean-Claude at the table. I was in awe of all the history; Jean-Claude told many stories about the beginning of IRCAM and much more.

Another thing, I was also very, VERY pleased that this was the first dinner date I had with him that were completely in FRENCH as Jean-Claude always speaks English with me. I was so proud of myself. But that was only until I had Pommeau as aperitif (apple-based alcohol, he had Martini Rouge) then Jean-Claude's favorite Jura white wine which I like too, but quite strong I think. Half way into the meal Jean-Claude said, "It must be very tiring for you to speak French" and switched to English! It must have been so obvious how my French deteriorated with alcohol LOL! Oh well :) The dinner was absolutely delicious, starting with the most delicious Soupe Froide de Moules (cold Moule soup, cream based) ending with Sabayon aux Poires (cream and pouched pear). I went back to IRCAM after 11PM. Frédéric was still there as well; we have been having very interesting and musically abstract conversations these days in the IRCAM basement, usually after midnight.

Then today, the phone rang in my IRCAM studio close to 6PM and it was Jean-Claude again, telling me that a French documentary film maker Oliver Meston, who has been following him covering the creative process of Schemes, the first violin concerto using Subharmonics which I premiered with Tokyo Symphony in 2007, are in town and wants to film me. In ONE hour. I scrambled and did a decent job (I hope) but hey, we don't go to music conservatories for nothing--one must be always prepared. I had to play the Cadenza I wrote in front of the camera, without preparation or practice. I did say, "Please, I need 5 minutes" so I could at least run it once. This was a last-minute decision but was a great one on Jean-Claude's part, since we should strike when the occasion arises, and it could very well be a long time before all of us to be in one room again. Oliver 'directed' us to act as if Jean-Claude and I just met in the hallway of IRCAM; we had to walk and say "oh! hello!" for a few times - my brush with Showbiz! LOL! It was a lot of fun. Jean-Claude was also accompanied by a French harpist Sylvain Blassel, who just recorded his piece today at GRM. It was a pleasure meeting him. Here is Sylvain on his cool 1958 "Mobilette" bike!

Then "au boulot", I went back to work. Holy Grail N.2 is GOLDEN, and it is done.

'Flying' cocktails :)

2010-07-28T03:26:00.007-04:00

I'm leaving Paris this Friday picking up the kids at Gare Montparnasse from the summer camp, spending the weekend in Picardie with the grandparents. My collaborator Frédéric Bevilacqua is leaving for his summer vacation on Saturday. We have been always the last ones to leave IRCAM past midnight, in the quest of Holy Grail N.2. I even forgot to eat lunch for two days, testing, fixing, testing...

In the meantime with Nicolas Ramamimanana's Holy Grail No.1, I made my own favorite 'cocktails' that are going to be very useful musically, and what I talked about the musical 'spiral', 'rolling' or 'frisbee' I feel is getting realized, quite unexpectedly, and quite simply by extracting a very particular kind of bowing data. You don't 'follow' anything like pitch, dynamic, or beat, but you 'roll' or 'fly' with your computer :) Kind of a strange thing to say, but it is what you do when you make music with a human. You have no master/slave relationship, but you 'walk' or 'roll' together, and this is what I'm after, with the computer.

I am not a very good programmer, and as my husband (a PhD in computer science) would lament in disgust, I will do whatever to make things work with a 'dirty' or 'bulldoze' programming. So I send rudimentary questions to Norbert Schnell who is constantly on the road for conferences this summer. Poor Norbert gets these questions waiting for him at his next hotel (!) but really, something that I am just staring at for 20 minutes, he can solve in 5 seconds!

This has been undoubtedly one of the most important summers of my life, in terms of my work. And for the kids--now I'm plotting on how to keep their French after we get back to NYC....

Now time to shake, stir, and more :)

2010-07-26T11:04:00.007-04:00

I am amassing the Holy Grails, and it is now time for me to mix the drink and drink them :) The Realtime Interaction Team at IRCAM, consisting of Frédéric Bevilacqua, Norbert Schnell, Bruno Zamborlin and Nicolas Rasamimanana, have been bending backwards to support me, taking turns leaving town to visit their families for the vacation so that I will never be left completely alone at IRCAM. They are so creative and open to ideas and it is such a pleasure and an honor for me to work with. It is one of the most condensed and fruitful collaborative relationship I've had. The fact that there is a clock ticking--I have a little more than one month to go here in Paris--makes me feel I cannot waste any time in moving forward. 'Mix the drink and drink them': it is high time to make music using the Holy Grails :) It has been opening many new possibilities of interaction and our ideas are like ping-pong balls, every time bouncing and going into the new territories and ideas.

The kids are in Nantes still, and the last time my husband spoke with them yesterday, they were very happy and learning to play Pétanque, French boule game! Husband is working in his new company in NYC after a 'garden leave', and in his spare time (how is that possible?!) building a... Flamenco Guitar! He posted many pictures on his Facebook page and it's impressive... but I was more concerned that he is looking at the camera, and not his fingers! No chopping off fingers allowed! :) We communicate a lot with Skype these days; here is husband reading a bedtime story to kids, the night before they went off to the summer camp. Thank goodness for technology :)

More work and friends and food

2010-07-24T03:23:00.016-04:00

The first of my 'solitary week' (kids in camp, husband in NYC) is ending with more testing of the gigantic Holy Grail N.2 with Frédéric Bevilacqua who is also family-less this week as his wife and daughter left for vacation in Switzerland ahead of him. We are both pulling long hours even going on this weekend. As I am an obsessive who likes to practice scales (yes, bizarre isn't it), it really doesn't bother me to play the same things 40 times and test the robustness. I am rather comfortable in my 'guinea-pig-hood' :) The interesting consequence is that I do get so bored, and in order to test the robustness of the computer detection, I come into the 'testing' portion of the phrase from something else like improvisation, quite radical at times, and exit to more improvisation, thus, in fact composing on the fly. And having to document what I'm doing I have to write them down. The rate it's going this can become a piece of its own :) An interesting way to come up with compositional materials and I recommend you try!

I do also have some human contacts away from IRCAM :) A colleague from Juilliard who is in town giving a composition seminar came to visit so we had a lovely lunch together, then in the evening I met with a person for the first time, whom I got to be a good friend virtually on Facebook! It is interesting that this was the first time we met face to face but we knew about each other already a lot and felt we were close enough to talk just about anything. It reminded me that me and my husband, when we first started to date, communicated long-distance between Paris and New York via email several times a day, and by the time we actually started our relationship, we already knew a lot about each other. A new mode of human relationship with internet!

We went out for dinner together in St. Michel and I had the most, most.... delicious Soupe à l'oignon. The area is flooded with young people and tourist, I must say it is not my favorite place to go as a neighborhood (and I hope it's not because I'm too old :) I never like crowded place--growing up in Tokyo and the crowd I feel I already paid my dues) but the restaurant... it was somewhere we just walked into. We first found a place on the guidebook but we got a strange 'tourist' vibe and didn't go in. The second one we sat next to two men, who tried to strike up a conversation and then took out a box of cigarette. So we said, "so you choose cigarette over female neighbor? Tant pis pour vous!" and left. Then we wondered into a small place with something saying "savoyard" (things of Savoie) a little out of the way on a very small street, so we sat there. Oh. My. Goodness. The Soupe à l'oignon. Then my friend had Fondue au chocolat for desert, which I also tasted. Pure Heaven. I was by the time, in a mood for something lighter, so I ordered a delicious citron sorbet with Vodka. A 'professional Parisian waiter' flirted with us; he actually spoke good Japanese :) Here we go, a typical Parisian weekend...

Oh and I'm desperately trying to finish mastering one remaining track that's hanging in front of me... the new album depends on this one getting done. UPDATE: it's done, just waiting from NYC for approval :)

Holy Grail Numero 2 is in the making...

2010-07-22T11:45:00.012-04:00

One of my main collaborators at IRCAM for the past few years, Frédéric Bevilacqua has been tackling the most difficult tasks of all delivered to him by this crazy visitor from the Upper Westside of NYC. He asked for it, so he got it :) Seriously, I constantly worry and ask him if what I'm aiming at is in line with his research and every time he is assuring me that it perfectly is. Since yesterday, Fred has been coming through with this extremely difficult task. I'm marking July 21st as the "Holy Grail No.2 Day" :) He is delivering, together with Bruno Zamborlin who wrote the program. This is possibly one of the largest prize yet.

This humongous Holy Grail No.2 is a 'phrase recognition' which may seem like an easy thing to do, almost like an old-fashioned "score following", but not the same at all. It can track 'similar' phrases played by the violin with the same bowing, and even double stops (= chords, without pitch detection which has been so far, impossible). The funny thing is, I made a few examples including 'simple' and 'complex' for him to try his system. It turned out, what I thought 'simple' was harder to track, and 'complex' ones were easier! How do I know!? :) We are sitting side by side working in a cool air-conditioned studio at IRCAM's basement, helped by the SECOND can of Maxim de Paris' Oranges Confites Enrobées de Chocolat Noir (orange peels covered in dark chocolate), here it is sitting right next to my motion sensor glove.

We are really testing the system's robustness by improvising etc, trying to 'fool' it. Fred is leaving for vacation at the end of the month, so we are trying to make it work as well as we possibly can. It is crunch time. CRUNCH! I'm still here at 9PM since this morning and planning to do more recording test. How can I waste such an environment. But don't worry, this week I had a wonderful visit with a long lost classmate from Juilliard, composer Chris Culpo who invited me to his home. It was wonderful to catch up with him. Then yesterday I had a dinner with husband's family friend, a Japanese artist living in France. She took me to a Korean barbecue (saying I must not have eaten Asian food for a long time, which was true) near Eiffel Tower, and I had a lovely walk with her in misty evening looking up at the Tower lit with yellow light and shadows of beautiful architecture which was magical. I got home last night after midnight. So yes I am also paying my homage to the City of Light.

Riding on a Frisbee

2010-07-21T04:44:00.006-04:00

This week, as I mentioned in the earlier entry, my children are in the camp in Nantes and I am completely free to work on my own. They do call me almost every day and there is a daily update on the activities on the website of their camp. My parents-in-law are in Brittany where it is closer to Nantes just in case. Everything is set up to maximize my work here at IRCAM until the end of July.

I feel like our work together is now at the middle of the Mount Everest. I'm working very closely with my main collaborator for the past few years, Frédéric Bevilacqua.　Just yesterday I felt that Frédéric touched the subject I have long LONG thought about. It is quite difficult to describe in words---people have used different expressions in the past: one composer said the music is a kind of "spiral", another said it is the way we walk, and someone else said it is like we are riding on a frisbee. It is a very difficult subject I feel, but the essence and the core of violin playing in a way. I learned to climb staircases without losing my breath, climbing on rocks without STOPPING my motions. It is the same "rolling" principle.

I hope that I don't sound like speaking some secret language or something, but I really don't know how else to describe it. But finally I have the opportunity to actually see this in data, not just in imagination.

As I am alone in Paris now, I take every advantage of visitors coming my way :) Here is a wonderful Soupe de Fraise (Strawberry Soup) I had with my (now former) student and saxophonist Jeremy Viner from Juilliard who came to visit.

M2D12: Bastille Day and Colonie Vacances

2010-07-16T17:38:00.006-04:00

I am spending the last 3 days together with my children before they go off to their first "Colonie Vacances", a sleep away camp. I left Paris on Bastille Day, 14 of July. This was the sight below my window, with hundreds of horseback soldiers marching in their formal, beautiful attire, after the "Defilé", the official Bastille Day parade in Champs Elysées with the President Sarkozy (it's the theme of the novel and film "The Day of the Jackal"). The sound of horseshoes on stone pavements which continued for a long time, together with the military uniforms that's created to 'impress and awe', made me imagine what real battles in Europe must have been in the old days. Funny the sounds like this seem to make things more real. I saw part of the "Defilé" on internet TV, with the funny effect of seeing the military planes flying over on the TV then 'hearing' them going over my apartment a few seconds later.

For the "Colonie", husband had done most of the preparation in terms of administrative organization, from the beginning: finding the camp, contacting, applying, health-certification, etc. even shopping for clothing, marking them etc. etc. I just had to finish and tied up the loose ends, buy some missing things, mark absolutely everything with their names and then pack them. I think packing for two weeks together psychologically helped preparing them for the camp as well. Now they are all excited instead of being sad and worried of being away. Although it would have been easier if I had just packed them all myself quickly, I made a point of laying everything out for them, and let THEM pack into their suitcases.

We are in a small village in Picardie, near a town called Chauny. Here we get most of the supplies. A typical provincial town, their markets are great. Here we are, buying the famous French melon. You tell the vender when you are eating it, "one for tonight, one for tomorrow" and he will give you the ones with appropriate ripeness. And of course, they sell the forbidden-in-the-USA "Reblochon".

M2D4-11: Holy Grail Numero 1!

2010-07-16T12:08:00.012-04:00

My formidable, FORMIDABLE Nicolas Rasamimanana. Nicolas came through. I have the Holy Grail No.1, 2, 3... or even a lot more possibilities interacting with computer with the bowing gesture. In one month exactly, I feel like it was truly worth everything I worked to get here, applying for this residency at IRCAM, applying for grants (and thankfully got, the Guggenheim Fellowship), spousal separation as husband is working in NYC, and most of all the parents-in-law's enormous support taking care of the kids while I'm in Paris. I maybe a bit emotional exaggerating in celebrating this success, but I do believe that interactive performance for violin using IRCAM's Gesture Follower, has turned its page. I was joking with Nicolas that I feel like I need to make a Special Commemoration celebrating the day: July 12, 2010! :)

The problem I described before, a simple but very difficult one: how do you tell the computer the performance is over, without clicking the computer to shut up, or fading out the sound, without a human operator? It is solved. Nicolas made it so that it even knows HOW I ended: forte, or piano. I made several examples of musical "endings", sending it to the team to take a look, and they were able to calculate my sound+movement combination and Nicolas was able to build quite a robust system. I said 'quite' since obviously, I need the robust system for performance, or 'A'. It is at the moment, around "A-" since I still need to calibrate some parameters in order to fit my various needs in detecting the bowing acceleration. We are making everything configurable so I could interact during the performance with the parameters as well.

My host Arshia Cont also gave me a wonderful studio where we can test things with sounds immediately, which is priceless in our work together. Here is Bruno who is working on other issues with me, Nicolas, and my violin with our computers together.

M2D3: RER

2010-07-10T03:39:00.012-04:00

Here I go again, hiatus from blogging. Again you might guess that I have been with my children twice this week on both weekends. Kids are the enemies of my blog LOL! I do have time but no longer the energy to type after spending time with them.

On Thursday, I had a meeting with my formidable Nicolas at IRCAM. The work was getting clearer by day. I am working in between two teams; Musical Representation Team and Realtime Interaction Team. They do different things and I need them both. I need both of their works combined to make some things work. They also said they have been planning to work together, but it seems they just needed someone from far, far away to make it happen, from Upper Westside in NYC for example :) Nicolas is making something that the computer program says "Mari stopped playing", by analyzing my gesture. Of course it sounds easy, but not so at all, considering musical context and situations.

In the afternoon, I was invited for tea at the home of Pierre-Yves Artaud, the professor of flute at the Conservatoire. Prof. Artaud was one time, the Director of Instrumental Research at IRCAM with Pierre Boulez' request. He lives in Vitry sur Seine and I took RER C (regional train). I met Prof. Artaud at the home of Norwegian composer Ida Heidel, whom I also met by chance at my friend and percussionist Lê Quan Ninh's concert. I am very grateful that I am able to expand my circle of friends in Paris. I had promised to send my CDs to Prof. Artaud, whom Jean-Claude Risset called "The Hero of contemporary Flutes", which I finally did. He very kindly invited me to his home. Anyway, I have researched my path to Vitry sur Seine, and knowing Prof. Artaud is a big Japan-fan, I went to Toraya, a Japanese traditional store for sweets, to get something for him. The picture is Anmitsu, Japanese red bean and jelly desert I had for the first time in months. This is possible in Paris :)

Oh and I got lost in RER C, which skipped his stop and I went back and forth from Bibliothèque Frainçois Mitterrand station. When the scenery got a little too green, I decided that it must have skipped the station; there was no announcement, no train conductor on board, and other passengers would say, "well, it usually stops" and shrugged their shoulders :) So I shrugged mine with them and dealt with it. It didn't have any impact on me since it works exactly the same on NYC subways. They decide to make express stops when they feel like it, and good luck to tourists trying to understand the heavily distorted announcements, which no one understands :) I'm 'christened' by RER, feeling at home in Paris.
Note: I wrote this entry last week but didn't have time to publish it.

M2D3: I touched a Holy Grail

2010-07-08T19:51:00.007-04:00

Yes indeed :) Today I tried and discussed a program at IRCAM, the program I mentioned yesterday. This is a sophisticated program that would clone my improvisation. At the moment there has to be a computer operator, which I cannot have on stage. I do understand that the computer operator could be "performing" on stage, but as a classically trained violinist, I guess I am just too old fashioned. He or she has to be physically generating analog sound on stage, or at least moving a little more than computer key click to belong to the stage, I think! OK, ok, not necessarily, but the fact is that it is terribly boring to watch someone on stage clicking the computer, no matter how he/she is being creative or expressive clicking the computer. But again, that's just me.

Even if the computer operator is off stage, the fact that another human needs to make a musical decision, tells me naturally "then why don't I just use another violinist to do the same?" I guess what I am going for is not another human (am I so anti-social!?) but another of my musical brain that behaves different from my own. Do I make sense?

I have done this kind of recording, except a 'fake' or simulated one; I recorded an improvisation of myself then improvised over it. So my second track is interacting to the first one, but first one is cast in stone. It still produced interesting results, as I enjoy noodling around myself to the point when I can no longer distinguish my sound from the other 'me'. This program, does the same thing in real time. That is to say, the computer is taking my notes in real time and plays back in a way it chooses, with many parameters one could set if you wish. It is a very interesting musical cognitive experience. I really treasured today.

So, we discussed how to make it 'stand alone', which lead to many subjects, some easily solved, or to go around the problem, and some highly sophisticated, worth a few PhD thesis. I feel I am a greedy visitor trying to eat anything that is on the dining table, occasionally ordering on a whim, "Oh by the way I would like some soufflé too!". I have only 1 1/2 month left here in Paris and I do need to get things done :)

No food pics today :(

M2D2: grinding...working... getting hot...

2010-07-07T13:36:00.004-04:00

M2D2 means "Month 2, Day 2" since when I miss my posting I don't think I can count :)

Can't believe the unbelievable: today I stayed inside ALL DAY in Paris working... not even going out. Now why do I feel like being insulting to the city... it needs to be looked at. I tested a few things and made some useful musical examples using IRCAM's stuff. When you are in a grocery store, you can go in there with a clear idea what your menu is going to be and shop for the ingredients, or, you can go in there with an idea but if you see something really nice like a fresh fish or something, you can toss the original idea and shop for the entire menu based on the fish. I approach interactive computer music composition like this. Does this make sense?

In fact two days ago I fell rather violently ill with fever and vomiting but went away in one day. It was the day my husband left back to the US so it might have been the shock and sadness :(

I did go for shopping yesterday, found and got something I loved and missed, Savora mustard! I first had it at the home of Jean-Claude Risset in Marseille. I put this in everything now. I found a similar thing at the Zabars but it isn't the same....

I have been seeing the horrific NYC temperature in the news, and feeling sorry for husband who is heading there tonight. Then I see the temps here in Paris this weekend and it promises to be bad. And, we don't have air conditioning here.

Day24-30: Family, back to Paris

2010-07-05T01:18:00.024-04:00

Ah oh, my old habit of taking hiatus from blogging creep in, missing almost a week! The excuse being that I spent a weekend in Picardie with my children and husband since he just left back to New York. We won't see each other until the end of August, unless he changes his mind and be able to make a short round-trip. That would be nice, but it's too much of an effort and too far a distance to just come for 2-3 days... He is starting a new work tomorrow (!); a new and exciting era for him. The photo is a rare and impressive sight of the kids obeying my "Kyo-iku Mama" (Japanese "education mom") orders reviewing their Japanese characters. Just so they don't forget; their young brains are way superior than mine. They can handle this.

My work at IRCAM is exciting this week; I have a studio scheduled for some experiments and will see how it works. Either way it will be very instructional for me. Two of my team members are out of town this week. In France there are two kinds of people, Juilletistes and Aoutistes, people who take vacations in July, or August. The famous French "vacances" started. I have several projects that I'm working on, which will involve my work at IRCAM so I'm doing them in parallel. This week I'm trying one of IRCAM's programs by another team (Musical Representation Team) that would 'clone' my musical behavior in real-time. It is a very sophisticated, almost A.I. (artificial intelligence) kind of program, and I am very excited to try.

On Saturday, husband and I spent the last night on our own at La Chaise au Profond. My husband, as any Frenchman I guess, has a technique of choosing restaurants which I'm trying to learn from him. Among 10s of restaurants, he walks around and reads the menu. This one said the Soup of the day was "Red pepper with Coconut milk". He said that made him think the cook is thinking. Turned out it certainly counts as one of the best dinner we had here in Paris this time. Of course I had my long overdue Confit du Canard, first one since I got here. And the obligatory Ile Fllottant (meringue floating in custard) which also was the first one since I got to Paris. Husband said "What happened, Mari you aren't talking". I forgot to talk and ate. This happens rarely, and one I remember was in Hong Kong performing at ISCM World Music Days in 2002, with Tania Leon. We ate Shanghai Crab and both Tania and I were silent!

Sunday, we met our our friend who came in town Andrew Moravcik, an opera critic (well, his 'day job' is a prof. in Political Science at Princeton). We went to an Opera "Sémélé" by Haendel at Teatre Champs Elysées. Great, very quirky and contemporary production which suited this otherwise rather monotonous and long music. Andy has two careers: this is a kind of life that is possible in the USA, that is (at least when I grew up) hard to do in Japan. The USA allows you to be whatever you want to be, and have as many careers as you want at the highest level, no matter how different those careers maybe. I think things are changing in Japan as well, I hope. Andy knows the cast, production, and always has very instructional comments about the particular opera and what to listen to. When Andy says "let's go to this opera" I don't even think and say yes.

Anyway, I was struck by how singers were allowed so much stylistic liberty, especially regarding the use of vibrato which is practically forbidden for the Baroque string playing with some exceptions. Singers were singing in romantic, or sometimes even popular music-inspired singing style with ample vibrato. I thought the contrast in style between the singers and the rather stoic orchestra was odd: luscious voices and cold 'sword'-like, vibrato-less sounds.

Today, Tuesday I am solving a specific problem with my formidable collaborator Nicolas Rasamimanana at IRCAM, and I am hoping to get something very concrete by the end of the week. We are trying to make the computer know when the piece is over (!). It is strange, but any interactive performance system or improvisation program have one thing in common; it is hard for a computer to detect when things are 'over'. You have to manually turn it off unless it is a pre-recorded material or sequence with fixed timing. I think we are solving this simple but tricky problem, which is very exciting for me. The picture means "End", computer can tell when I'm done. It looks sort of like a heart monitor, "dead"!

Today I spent a fun lunch with a friend Martha, who took me to a little Quiche/omlette place on Rue des Rosier (will get the name of the restaurant later). I had the most delicious omlette with blue artichoke. I didn't eat this but this is their famous lemon pie. Next time. Must take husband.

On the way to IRCAM I saw some kind of protest on the street, and I thought it was funny people were accompanying the speeches with Vuvuzela! Somehow I think they didn't used to do that before the World Cup this year. Then on the way back from IRCAM, all of the sudden military fighter planes started to pass over Paris every 10 seconds in formation; is this a rehearsal for the Bastille Day? (7/14)

Day22-interlude, Day23-Holy Grail and Bloodbath

2010-06-29T06:11:00.019-04:00

16 years ago May, I met my future husband in NYC. He was leaving the USA for good finishing his studies, coming back to France for military service and then to look for a work. We had a dinner together on 103rd st & Broadway Indian restaurant with a mutual friend who didn't mean to 'match make' us at the time, since he was leaving the USA and I had just gotten a teaching position at NYU. Then a few months later I met him again in Paris during my 'visa/greencard' ordeal as a 'damsel in distress' stuck in Europe, whom he rescued by finding a very cheap and perfect flight out of Paris. (This episode produced a duo album with flutist Robert Dick who was living in Lucern at the time, where I stayed during my visa problems). He reminded me that it was at this second time we met in Paris at his parents' apartment, I instinctively realized he was my future husband, while watching him eat his mother's soup. Now look at us, I'm here living in Paris for the summer, and our two children are staying with his parents, eating their grandmother's soup. Life is strange, fast, and precious.

Speaking of precious life, we went for a little walk in the morning to get some medicine I needed, then he went to get somethings at the supermarket. I said, "See you back home" within a few minutes. After he left, I saw that our street was blocked off with police tape. I went around the block and tried to enter the street, and got stopped, "Madame!" by the police. I went to yet another side of the street and there were more police, who asked me where I lived; it is just next to the Memorial de la Shoah Museum. Apparently there was a suspicious motorbike parked in front of the Jewish museum and this was a bomb scare. Husband and I were reunited at the entrance of the street 10 minutes later, just below my window where we couldn't get in. There is a little 'professional' coffee shop right below my window, which we hadn't been, so we sat there and waited out the police blockage. What a great coffee place. Anyway this episode reminded me the threat of terrorism is well and alive, wherever you are. On 9/11, I was at Juilliard and husband was with our then 6-months old baby daughter one block away. In the summer 2003 during the NYC power outage I was in Lincoln Center Performance Library being 8 months pregnant and he had to walk back from Polytechnic Univ. in Brooklyn where he was teaching. I remember being very worried. Loved ones are like your limb that's attached to you remotely. You feel them remotely.

On Tuesday I was in a wait-and-see mode regarding IRCAM. I have planted the seeds all over the place, and they need time to grow a bit. I didn't go to IRCAM but worked on various other projects at home, and took care of a lot of back-logged correspondences. I really do need several of 'me' doing different tasks! I also received a very nice email from Jean-Claude Risset, who is coming to Paris for a recording session at GRM at the end of July; I look forward to seeing him again. He read this blog and found out about my obsession of Reblochon, and offered this information I didn't know: "Do you know the origin of the word "reblochon"? In Savoie, there was a tax to be paid by farmers proportional to the quantity of milk they got from their cows and sold. They had the idea not to milk the cows thoroughly - "to milk" was called "blocher". Later, when the tax controllers were gone, they would milk again - "reblocher" - and keep the milk in their own reserve to make cheese from it - "reblochon" - more creamy because the leftover milk was richer..." No wonder it is so good! The picture at the top is from a little café we went for lunch; I had a melted (and banned in the USA) Reblochon over grilled toast. There were some potato and red onion underneath.

Today, Wednesday, the seeds I have planted already bloomed. What a day. For me, IRCAM is a place where the Holy Grails are scattered around all over the place. But they maybe hidden under the ground, or in fact, it might just be inside someone's head. But I have to find it, and I did. Now I'm working between two different teams, one specialized in gesture research, one in the research of sound and almost Artificial Intelligence (A.I.) inspired human-machine communication. I used to dream such things for years, and all I have been doing until now, since I started with interactive computer music, is to simulate, or to 'fake' what I wanted to do. Now, this Holy Grail is right in front of me. I just hope that I could successfully get some and bring it back with me to New York; this is what I am here for.

Another thing about today: Paris has entered its three-week "SOLDES" season: everything is going 30-50% off and many stores have red flags like this. It is a bloodbath. It's a carnage. After the brain-storming meeting at IRCAM, I joined hundreds of French women in BHV looking through things. Curiously I saw very few males, unless they were holding bags of their companions standing around. And also curiously, it's in these kinds of madness I am reminded of my origin, feeling totally at home and comfortable. I'm a Japanese woman.

Day21-22: 3rd week in Paris

2010-06-28T17:46:00.012-04:00

Warning: this is the heaviest food posting. Husband is leaving back to NYC in one week, so I'm taking the maximum advantage of his company.

And everything is closed on Sunday. No shopping center is open in Paris. I guess the idea is still to go to church. They still take "Sunday" seriously here, people not working, not shopping, but just relaxing staying home or hanging out. In NYC generally, Sunday is when you shop since during the week people are too busy working. After so many years in the west I have a hard time as a Japanese/New Yorker to "do nothing". They said Nice, or southern France never really caught on as a destination for Japanese tourists, because there simply aren't many places to visit, but it's a place to "hang out and do nothing". But this Sunday, one of the last Sundays I will spend with my husband before he goes back to New York, we took it easy and "enjoyed" Paris.

We went out to an Italian restaurant around the corner for lunch; I had a Risotto as I don't feel like doing a serious cooking in my little kitchen. After my husband leaves back to NYC next week, I will eat drastically less in restaurants; I don't like eating in restaurants by myself so much. So I will enjoy his company while I can. This is "Café Degustation" desert, 5 Euro that comes with Tiramisu and Panacotta au Coulis de Fruits Rouges. (red berry sauce).

This morning I had some talks with Norbert and Frédéric while standing on the bridge in front of IRCAM, then in Norbert's office. They haven't complained that I have been bombarding them with ideas and materials. It is getting clear to me. IRCAM teams already have many of the "Holy Grails" I want to use, but only they are not ready to be drank from, at least by me or outside IRCAM :) We now have pretty clear idea and immediately very useful "Grails" for performance we are working on now. Our conversation spilled over a wonderful lunch by Rue du Renard near IRCAM; this is Salade de Gesiers. In the afternoon Bruno and I worked on our own projects for "Max for LIVE".

Husband had a meeting with his old school's professor and we went for a quick Tapas, then we went to Montreuil, outskirts of Paris, for a concert at Instants Chavirés for a Gerry Hemingway and Bob Ostartag duo. Gerry, who now teaches in Lucern, invited us; it has been so long since we played together at the Roulette together with Mark Dresser, and it was great to see him. Towards the end of the set I enjoyed the "testosterone overload" of his drums.

Day20: work, break, ideas and sorbet

2010-06-27T03:28:00.011-04:00

This is already my 3rd weekend in Paris. I spent the day tweaking the one remaining track, a piece for violin and interactive piano, on my upcoming album which I tried to finish mastering back in NYC two days before I left. There was something wrong with the synthesized parts so I had to redo it, and of course there was my computer problem, so I didn't get to it until now. It's finished but took me staying indoors for the most of the day. The problem about Paris for me, is that it is too beautiful. How can one stay inside and not enjoy the city. It is easier in NYC I feel, and not to say city isn't beautiful but it is more functional in a way. I love NYC, as I can just remain anonymous as I please and do what I do, without feeling guilty not visiting. Here I feel guilty not visiting Paris, almost feeling I'm being insulting for not paying homage to the beautiful city. And yes, I'm a visitor--probably different if you live here permanently.

I did take a break, meeting with a friend Atau Tanaka and his son at the playground next to Cités des Arts. Our kids are from 'their country', the mix of Japanese-French and they look alike! We spent time taking pictures of each other. We will try to get our kids together later in the summer. I think my kids' French, which is already soaring astronomically thanks to the grandparents, will be even better by then.

Husband came back from Picardie, so in the evening we met Ken Perlin again with my host Norbert from IRCAM for dinner at another vegetarian restaurant called Le Grenier de Notre-Dame, a delightful little place just across from Notre-Dame. Again I was hungry so forgot to take the picture. I think my project with Norbert is taking the most difficult but exciting path, one of what I call the "Holy Grail" (in fact, it's my husband who named it). This morning I just pulled out another 'Grail', feeling encouraged by what Ken said yesterday, "You should just go for it and make fun things with what you have". A simple, but very positive and dynamic advice. I didn't do so before assuming it won't possibly be done. This one of my "ultimate" Holy Grail caught the attention of Norbert and to my surprise I think he is going to go for it. More on this later.

We took a late-night stroll by Notre-Dame, then the guys said, "Oh so you haven't? then you must!" so we went to get the 'obligatoire' Glace Berthillon, famous ice cream and sorbet place. I guess the excuse or the reason I didn't have it for 3 weeks into being in Paris, is that the first 2 1/2 weeks have been quite cold, so much so that I had to buy a coat. This sorbet place has a huge line in front of it, and we were there at 11:30PM. I had kept quite a strict regimen of eating less since April 2009, losing about 28lbs total in one year and half. I married a Frenchman, lived almost 2 years in Côte d'Azur, then had two babies. I would think blowing up quite a bit was almost a natural course :) I finally took action to get back into my own self last year to feel better about myself, and now I do fit into my old clothes pre-marriage. The golden rule was to eat very little in the evening. I'm quite afraid I'm going to gain all back in short 3 months, especially eating something like this late at night! Will watch from now on.... I hope.... :)

Day19: friend, inspiration, and modern art

2010-06-26T04:32:00.009-04:00

I think I had a bit too much intake of sensory information yesterday; I got quite tired to do a blog, so went to bed early while watching a movie. Husband went to Picardie to play Flamenco guitar in son's French 1st grader's class. He is on 'leave' from work until July 6th back in NYC, so making the most of his time spending with kids. Then it will be just me and the grandparents!

A friend of mine, Ken Perlin, a renowned computer graphics and animation prof. at NYU has been in Paris for a conference so he came over to speak with us at IRCAM. Frédéric and Bruno gave him some demos and we had a very informative and inspired conversation. Visual and auditory gesture of course have a lot in common. Then we went to a vegan restaurant called Le Potager du Marais with him. I always thought Paris must be difficult to live for a vegetarian but we are surprised how many vegetarian restaurants are now in Paris. This was a good one! I had a Tarte Tatin with Almond cream, non-diary and gluten free. How about that, in Paris.

Then Ken proposed to go to Pompidou Centre which I hadn't been (!) since I got here, where I could get in for free with a guest as I discovered. There was a exhibition called Deamland "City of the future". The art in there felt a bit naïve, or almost artificially 'forced' and not born. I don't know how else to describe it.

Then there was another exhibition called elles@centrepompidou, which said "For the first time in the world, a museum will be displaying the feminine side of its own collections. This new presentation of the Centre Pompidou's collections will be entirely given over to the women artists from the 20th century to the present day." Okay. Does that mean if you are a woman you really don't deserve to be featured alongside male artists? :) Not meant to be cynical, but then female artists should be enormously grateful for this show of attention to our gender. The collection, quite sexually explicit on purpose at times without the element of wonder of beauty, or so I found, was also feeling 'forced'. As a 'female' artist in computer music and composition, I do get asked the question of how it is to be a woman in the field. My answer, or the answer that comes to mind before I answer, is always, "Oh well, I didn't think about that until you asked". It is probably a bit naïve but I would rather not make a career out of being a woman artist myself. But then, that's just me.

Day17-18: more work, food, long heads and music

2010-06-24T16:39:00.032-04:00

So there is no excuse of being with kids; I am lagging behind of the blog again :) Yesterday more recording of gesture/sound/video data, more conversation with the team at IRCAM. Got the violin from Nicolas, my 'violin' team member of IRCAM who is lending it to me to install K-Bow system. I brought it back to clean since we are calling it a "tortured violin"; it looks like it has seen a lot and being through a lot. Poor thing.

This morning more recording, more data transfer--BTW I'm doing my recordings in my studios then use yousendit.com to transfer the data to IRCAM 5 minutes walk away. It takes 15 minutes to upload! Now the Agora festival is over I might be getting a studio where I can play in IRCAM so that I can do file transfer within the building fast, or run up the stairs to give them the memory stick in person :) Since the team needs a little time to analyze the data I have been bombarding with, I went to a nice lunch with husband, to Mon Viel Ami, par recommendation of a friend, composer Eric Chasalow of Brandies Univ.

We caught the ending of their "today's lunch", poulet confite au sumac et à la menthe (chicken confit with "sumac" and mint) for two, Rhubarbe pochée, crumble et sorbet menthe (pouched Rhubarb with biscuit crumble and mint sorbet) for husband and Vacherin glacé vanille-fraise (meringue cookie with vanilla and strawberry ice cream) for me. 21 Euro each and was totally worth it. Besides I don't get to go to French restaurants in New York, since husband insists that we should rather buy a plane ticket to Paris than pay NYC French restaurant prices. So there.

Then I decided to do a tourist thing and accompanied husband who wanted to go to Musée National du Moyen Age, or "Musée Cluny Paris" which I can get in for free with the Cités des Arts card. What a place. I did get a little tired for this enormous place filled with Virgin Mary and all over and over again, but always am in awe of our human history. This is a collection of sculpture they had called "La Galerie des Rois" (kings heads) which used to be in front of Notre Dame but was only found in 1977. They are vandalized by the revolution missing noses etc, but the guide note explained that they were sculpted with exaggerated length of the heads, which they took in account that they are to be seen from below. I took a picture looking up, and on the same level. Indeed, from the first shot the artists' intentions are clear to establish a visual illusion.

Husband was astonished that this is the most impressive thing I thought about this museum, not the world famous "Lady and the Unicorn" tapestry that it is known for. Well maybe I was too tired of walking and the religious themes by the time I got to the Unicorn.

After we recovered with a Panache for me and espresso for him, we went to a children's concert at beautiful high school, Lycée Henri IV organized by IRCAM's Fabrice Guédy who also is a very important person and an asset for me in thinking about gesture, since he specializes in conducting gesture, which is quite close to string gesture in my opinion, at IRCAM. Husband who went to Lycée Louis Le Grand , kept saying, "wow I wished I'd come here, it's beautiful!". BTW he gave me what he went through in this very rigorous French public highschool. This page is in French but at the bottom there is a list of weekly studies. 12 hours of math a week!

The French children's concert program was very French understandably, with tons of Debussy and Ravel, and Rameau. I have to say that French kids get to perform in churches made of stones like these, getting used to the rich acoustics and the hearing of music in a particular way. These pieces were made to be played in places like this, by the people who grew up in these buildings. Now I understand it. On the other hand, these pieces are missing quite a bit of rhythmic elements, but in turn filled with beautiful harmony enhanced by the acoustics. I wondered if they could also learn salsa or rumba, maybe outside with no reverb :) The picture is a beautiful example of kids hanging colored papers reflecting the timber, while Fabrice performed a Olivier Messiaen piece.

Fabrice also used the motion sensor to accompany a student's piano with a virtual orchestra, and my IRCAM team, Norbert, Nicolas and Frédéric assisted on an interesting experiment performing Bach with motion sensor-embedded ball, thrown by the kids. They have to throw the ball in tempo in order to play the music accurately. It has a nice potential to be a teaching tool I thought.

Day16: more nitty gritties

2010-06-22T18:46:00.014-04:00

It's really time for 'down and dirty'. This morning I had one of the most extensive look at violin pitch in the most precise manner with Norbert at IRCAM. I have been using pitch tracking ever since I started to compose for interactive computer in 1992, but now it seems I maybe looking at the new era. My residency is really for this, to finally improve on my years of DIY "Do It Yourself" or in my case, "DIMB" (Do It Myself Badly!). The downside, or the inevitable consequence I was expecting, is that I maybe looking at getting into the anechoic chamber pretty soon, taking samples. I have done this taking samples in anechoic chambers quite a few times now, because of the Subharmonic research with several scientists. I'm 'used to it' although it isn't that pleasant. I made a joke today that I do require a bottle of Cognac, Calvados, etc to make myself happy in there! (I was just reading the above link on Anechoic Chamber and it looks grim: "radiation hazard, Fire hazard, Trapped personnel" What the...!? :)

Since my focus at the residency is quite multi-directional, and since there are about 5-6 researchers I'm working with and they travel one by one occasionally, I think I found a way to maximize my work. As usual I got several projects going on all at once and advance one of them when the other ones are paused. This way things will always advance. However I have to be in charge of keeping track of all of them so nothing will fall behind. Who knew that my concert preparation technique "no stones unturned" practicing method applies to this kind of research work :) I still do--when I have a recital or a huge concert I make a graphic list of how much I practiced and how for each of them, so I will be free of worries that I'm less prepared for somethings. If I have to worry, my head spends the energy for worrying and I cannot concentrate well. I have limited "RAM" (Random Access Memory)!

There are of course, other projects that with or without IRCAM I wanted to do this summer; one of which is to try out K-Bow, which I have on loan. I got IRCAM to lend me a violin to put it on and I'm powering it up today. It would be really interesting to see how it works, and to compare with the IRCAM system.

I know, the coffee cup is too close to that precious circuitry. I just did that on purpose to give the size-perspective for the photo :) Coffee cup was empty and way far away afterwords. A violinist and dear friend Jon Rose, who is the spokes-person of K-Bow, gave me valuable advice on this, and no doubt I will be relying on those words, pretty soon. Like tomorrow.

Day15: half a month in Paris

2010-06-22T01:49:00.012-04:00

And I still fit in my clothes, despite eating things like this. Yesterday was the Fête de la Musique, which now seems to have immigrated to NYC--I would have liked to see that. Here in Paris the atmosphere is very 'soft' and 'tender'. I don't know how else to describe it. A lot of street corner is occupied by a musician or another, and the entire city (well at least where I am) seemed to be one giant festival, but not loud and vulgar one.

After I spent the morning/lunch/early afternoon discussing our issues with the team at IRCAM, I walked around and saw that the next door to where I live, Memorial de la Shoah, Jewish memorial museum is organizing a concert in the courtyard. I went to Notre Dame Cathedral since it said they are having an annual concert for the Fête de la Musique. I thought I wanted to hear some major low frequency without sound system (Pipe Organ) so I went.
BTW do they teach pipe-organ students to listen to themselves in a cathedral? That must be hard to do. But the amount of reverberation was not taken into consideration by the way she was playing; I would have liked to hear it with a bit more spaces in between phrases. It got kind of tiring trying to listen 'decoding' the phrases away from reverb, so after listening to two pieces, I left.

It was a concert by Conservatoire students, who were introduced by a priest who spoke like Jacques Chirac, former President of the Republic. As I was learning French back then, I loved listening to his speeches since I understood absolutely every single word he said :) He spoke to the most uneducated, most challenged in terms of language. Anyway this priest at Notre Dame said that we are going to listen to very talented musicians of the future etc. This country embraces artists, that is for sure, and the social status of students, for those who get into the "Crème de la Crème" schools such as Conservatoire Nationale Supèrieure de Musique, are revered, cradled by the society. Or at least it seems like it to me. In the USA Juilliard/Curtis students may get a temporary social acceptance while they are there: "Oh what do you do?" "I go to Juilliard", "Ahh, wonderful!" in a very 'social status' way -- who knows what happen to them after they graduate from a socially very acceptable conservatories, and their destiny is solely in the hands of musicians themselves.

I for one never felt the warmth anywhere being a music student in my youth. I still remember like yesterday; one day I was walking in a busy morning in Shinjuku, Tokyo, carrying my violin with a classmate from Toho school, Japan's premier Conservatory of Music, with Ryusuke Numajiri who is now a premier conductor of the country. We used to play piano/violin duo together at Toho School. Walking among the morning rush-hour crowd, there were two men in suits right behind us. We overheard one saying to another looking at my violin, "Hey, what's that?" "I think that's a violin". Then the first guy said, "What is she going to do with her life playing the violin?" Ryusuke and I looked at each other, speechless. That is the kind of the society I grew up in, and I feel so good for the music students here in Paris; at least, or I do hope, no one will say that to their faces in Paris! And I do believe French conservatoire graduates have a nice and comfortable future. Of course, the flip side of comfort maybe that they will stay the way they are. Unlike myself who felt the need to find my own way to create my own space. This really isn't for everyone. And if I were a French violin student and attended Conservatoire, I am not sure if I became what I am now.

I thought the Fête de la Musique was yesterday, but this morning at 7AM it was still going on! Here is a guy on Pont-Saint-Louis yesterday. Not sure he is there everyday, or just for the Fête de la Musique. He must be what Republicans in the USA called "Socialist"? :)

Day13-14: 1st weekend with kids

2010-06-20T15:53:00.019-04:00

And that is why I missed a day of blog posting. And you might understand why there is little entry before June, hardly every 3 months or less! When you have young kids, something like 'blogging' goes way down on to-do list :)

On Saturday I recorded some simple sound samples for one of the researchers at IRCAM to take a look; I am interested in improving sound quality of some stuff I'm already using, and since they told me that they haven't really looked at how violin works with this particular function I wanted them work on it while I'm here :) Then I headed to IRCAM for a talk the Realtime Interaction Team, the people I'm working with, was giving for the public, on the last day of Agora Festival's La Nuit Du Prototype. They demonstrated gesture follower and interaction, but the session was cut short because there were too many people who couldn't get in, and the administration decided to divide the session in two so the first audience had to be ushered out. It was fine for me, as I knew most of what they were going to show. Here is Norbert Schnell, one of my main collaborators at IRCAM showing his graphic interface and controller demo.

I also heard a bit of outdoor performance by a French Percussion ensemble Les Percussions de Strasbourg performing Iannis Xenakis's Pléiades in front of IRCAM in the square. A very fun spectacle, old and young sitting on the ground listening to Xenakis on this cool Paris day in June. The performance was electrifying; at times I thought that the bizarre acoustics of this plaza, two concrete/stone walls in 90 degree angle, was throwing them off a bit for this very tightly synced rhythmic work.

The kids were coming from Picardie arriving in Paris so before the talk, I went to Les Halles, a shopping center near IRCAM, to buy some long sleeve tops/sweaters for them. Paris has been low 9-10C (50F) and windy/rainy. Husband went to Au Vieux Campeur, a camping gear store he knew since his childhood, to buy sleeping bags since the kids are going to French summer camps "Colonie Vacances" in July. I was expecting our reunion, first time since our arrival in Paris on June 7th, to be somewhat operatic accompanied by tears, but it was very sweet and light; they were just very happy to see me. Then we went to a park behind Notre Dame to play a bit, headed to brother-in-law's house where kids were united with their cousins.

At my brother-in-laws, I had my own operatic reunion. Not with my kids, but with Reblochon de Savoie au lait cru!!! (Note: the link is in French, but you can enjoy the video and get the idea). I have missed it ever since it was banned in the USA; Zabars stopped carrying it, and now sells something that labeled "Missing Reblochon? Here is your alternative!" I forgot what it is called.

The weekend continued today with the family, chez another brother-in-law minus the brother himself, but the kids were able to play with the cousins.
I am absolutely flabbergasted with both my kids' French. My daughter is also learning cursive in French, and I overheard my son is talking to himself: "Qu'est-ce que c'est que ce TRUC là..." (what is this thing...). I am also flabbergasted with all this thing we ate. Understandably husband and I only had one slice of bread tonight, with salted butter though... Merguez with Kir (with Mûr Sauvage, blackberry syrup instead of Cassis), barbecue marinated with Sauce Béarnaise, homemade Far Breton by my sister-in-law, and it went on and on... a typical French Sunday family festivities celebrating a family reunion.

Day12; Paris, people, music...

2010-06-18T19:00:00.007-04:00

I'm continuing to orient myself in terms of our working strategy and planning, and it is, as I expected, coming together and building as we go. And things do happen when I show up at IRCAM in person and sit next to them. It is as if when I see their faces and talk to them, ideas and thoughts come flooding out of my head. And their reactions, questions and responses inspire me to come up with more ideas. It is this human interaction that is so important, and this summer residency at IRCAM is so priceless for our work.

After two productive meetings today at IRCAM, I hit BHV---look, it is my commuting trajectory. I literally walk through BHV from Cités des Arts and IRCAM. Today I went to their famous crafts section to buy some things for my children, who are coming tomorrow to Paris to visit; we are spending the weekend together. I am nervous. Will they fall apart, screaming for mommy? Will they look at me and start blaming me for abandoning them since June 5th? I am putting them through a lot, together with my parents-in-law in Picardie where they live now. I like to believe that it is for the good of my children, learning French and get to know their grandparents who normally live an ocean away. They see the cows everyday, run around in the safe field, etc. all things hard to do in NYC's upper westside. They are studying math in French, reading in French thanks to the grandparents. But it is a long time. It's the entire summer. It will mark their lives and the only hope I have is this experience to be the good one for everyone. I might be projecting my own experience, as the similar thing was done to me. When my father, a solar energy specialist, worked at the National Research Council in Ottawa, I was put into a Canadian school at age 4 and a half for two years. Because of this experience, my life was profoundly affected; my life became more international than most Japanese.

The crafts section of BHV is where you can find just about anything to do with art supplies, and I joined many French mothers, who are also buying art supplies for their children. Then, just like them, I went up to the BHV's cafeteria overlooking the fabulous Paris landscape for lunch. Not many tourists are there, but mostly local Parisians who come here for lunch, without much fuss. The food is great--and I have to remind myself, it is a given in France :) This is a salad with cheese that I really should not have eaten, since that Brie-looking cheese was nothing but a glorified butter. French butter. I can hear the cows, and I can hear my extended Yoga session calling tonight.

I came back and practiced my scales for quite a while (which my husband calls "Mari's torture exercises". It is not pleasant to listen to for sure!). Then remembering what the face of the cheese in BHV cafeteria looked like, I was determined not to have a huge dinner. Then I received an email from my dear new Parisian friend, a Norwegian composer I met in a concert of percussionist friend Lê Quan Ninh, named Ida Heidel. She came to my talk at IRCAM a few days ago and she kindly thought of inviting me to her goodbye party, as she was leaving a residency staying at a beautiful apartment the Norwegian Composer's Association owns near St. George in the delightful 9e. Former flutist, she had invited perhaps half of Paris' flute community, and I had an honor of meeting and having dinner with Pierre-Yves Artaud, Professor of Flute at the Paris Conservatoire. It was my first Paris 'soirée' in French, well almost, as they were so kind to switch to English whenever I had problem finding my vocabulary. The dinner table was however, not only French--there were Chilean, Bulgarian, another Japanese composer, and Norwegian Ida. Typical musician's get-together, very New York, very Paris. Again I have to say, because of music, musicians I know and met here, Paris makes me feel very at home, almost as if I'm still in New York, except for the language, different subway smell, and different quality of butter. And certainly a lot more in-your-face chocolate. Whoever invented the combination of dark chocolate and orange? When did it start? Is there a research on the history of chocolate and orange?

Day11: Pistache and Berio

2010-06-17T15:28:00.005-04:00

The recording I made yesterday should be OK, the data is all there; we will see what my bright team will find out---I made a very simple phrase with simple contrasting expressions using same notes, just to start simply :)

As I was told on the first informal meeting, I complied my first 'wish list', things I was always dreaming about. I immediately did answer a 'big one' off the top of my head on the spot, an equivalent of a "Holy Grail", then I saw from their facial expression and reaction, that it is a big subject (and a great one!) which might derail the purpose of my visit this summer---our work on gesture and expression. But if we don't think about these "big questions" nothing will go forward. So, today my wish list to the team contained some of these 'big' dreams, as well as what I called "Cracked Holy Grails", things that are already done, but not good enough in my opinion, for example some pitch tracking, or sound quality issues etc. These "Cracked Holy Grails" are just as important, if not more, than the 'big' Holy Grail dreams for me as a performer/composer using the interactive technology. Anyway, I'm very excited, and so grateful to be given this opportunity.

In the afternoon, I dropped by at IRCAM's Médiathèque, the library inside IRCAM, to check some Luciano Berio score and CD out. I listened while watching with TF1 France vs. Mexico in the background (with no sound, no B-flat). Sorry Mr. B... but I'm really liking some of the duos which I never played before. Their online catalog is a bit of a pain (I have to write exact words or else it's hard to find it---for example a word "Duetti" instead of duo) Then it turned out my team has already used some of the very same Berio duos for experimenting with the system! It's pretty clear we are on the same wavelength and we think of the same thing. I think I will continue on their path regarding this particular 'score following' experiments using this Berio.

I passed through BHV to get some stuff; this Saturday I'm seeing my children for the first time since June 5th! We are currently debating who sleeps where--we are getting together at my brother-in-laws's house, but I will probably have to take one child with me, likely my younger one. This could be very good or very traumatic. He will want to stay with me for the whole time, and his integration and assimilation to French will be interrupted. But we miss each other, so this has to be what a friend said about separating with kids: "Short and Sweet". Dragging out a 'Wagnerian' never-ending tragedy is never good...

The picture above is an Eclair Pistache, and a Tarte aux fruits rouges. I meant to share with my husband but he flew to Nice today to visit his former colleagues at INRIA Sophia Antipolis. I ate half of the Pistache one, which was so good, and thought he has to taste it. Then a friend skyped from LA and reminded me that my husband is French, he speaks French and he can very likely make his way to get his own Eclair Pistache. So I ate the rest of the half just now. Our fantastic 'Boulangerie' is not even a block away. I need to hit some Yoga tonight...

Day10: No excuse and Sweet family

2010-06-16T14:39:00.022-04:00

So we start; one week ago Monday I arrived, and now that my talk is out of the way, Frédéric Bevilacqua's team, Realtime Musical Interaction Team and I have started our experiments on music and gesture. Here is Frédéric setting my newly repaired computer up with video/sound/data recording, in what they call "aquarium" at IRCAM, Salle Luigi Nono. It's just below the entrance level and facing an underground courtyard, maybe that's why it feels like an aquarium.

Then I came back to my studio and ran it; I created two contrasting musical scenarios, which I recorded several times with three synchronized way: gesture data, video and sound. My hard drive was very full, so I spent some boring time today cleaning up my hard drive and finally using "Time Machine" to backup my data. Here I am in my studio, the screen-capture of today's recording. At this moment I'm sorting the data out for us to look at them tomorrow. BTW the T-shirt I'm wearing is about 20 yrs old. I got it at Juilliard Bookstore when I first arrived in NYC, and I remember they had it for other instruments as well. It reads "String of Excuses", for string students. My kids love reading it.

"String of Excuses: I haven't had time to practice - It sounded better at home - I have a different edition - The editing is awful - I practiced it faster - I brought the wrong glasses - These aren't my fingerings - The page turn messed me up - My nails are too long - It's the dryness - It's the humidity - My bow needs new hair - I didn't know we were repeating - I have new strings - My 'A' string is false - I don't like this piece anyway"

Before I came home, we had lunch together with my husbands' brother Frédéric who lives in Paris and sister Anne who was on the way to her medical conference in Rome. Plus a sonogram of "le 8me", or "the 8th grandchild" of their parents, Frédéric and his wife are expecting. This is the same crêpe place in front of IRCAM where I have eaten already for 3 times! But my family-in-law is part Bretons so it's suitable. Paris was rather chilly today, low at 10C (or 50F) so there was a outdoor heater just above us. Husband said that is "not real Breton" but it was comfortable for me.

So what about this French melon, sweet, sweetest and the most orang-est of melons. Husband bought it at a local store and it is so juicy, I had it for dinner with a thin slice of Viande des Grisons (this is in French), Swiss smoked/dried beef, which he also got at the same store.

Day9: B-flat!

2010-06-15T14:40:00.009-04:00

My talk at IRCAM went well, I did say that I am not crazy about using an ear piece or headset during electronic music performance, but didn't forget to say "BUT THAT IS JUST ME" :) I have been seeing more people putting click-track headphone/ear pieces on performers, and had to speak out. For me, as a string player, it is quite disturbing to have binaural hearing semi compromised. And I don't like the fact that players have to meddle with microphone AND headset on stage. But THAT's JUST ME :) In my demo today, I ran a piece with automated score, while I 'play along' with the changing effects. If you have to somehow synchronize with electronics, how many senses does one have to dedicate? I think one (seeing the screen) is enough, no click track necessary.

After the 5-page fax to FedEx, my computer arrived at IRCAM, just as my talk finished using husband's computer. I'm typing today's post from my own computer, and also our first test is the "TF1 Direct", soccer match between South Africa and North Koreans. They are talking about Vuvuzela, that stadium horn that reaches 130dB!! And indeed it drowns out everything, and it is in B-Flat! A soccer match in B-Flat :)

The Sake I served (two bottles) after my talk went quite fast (about 15-16% alcohol). Here is me during and after the talk at IRCAM, with my heroic husband who fought courageously with French bureaucracy to get my computer back without paying taxes. He so deserved this bottle :) Then we went out for yet another Crêpe with 'my' team, so we decided to go easy on dinner at home with salad and these cherries. Well the crunchy-outside-fluffy-inside baguette couldn't have been ignored....

(IRCAM pictures taken by wonderful administrator Florence Quilliard, who has been taking wonderful care of me making me feel at home here)

Day8: one week in Paris

2010-06-14T11:28:00.010-04:00

So it has been only one week since we arrived and it feels like a month!
My computer is held at Paris customs (Douane) sent from Tekserve in New York via FedEx. They warned me we will have to fight to get the computer without paying the sales tax, since it is an old computer. I have all the documents to prove so, husband wrote a hand-written letter as requested, and with all the forms one can possibly think of, I faxed it from IRCAM this morning. We will see what happens.

Then I spent all afternoon getting ready for the presentation tomorrow. Things are working except I'm using husband's computer which is bigger (17") but slower. I have some audio interruption problem, but will have to live with it for tomorrow. I am starting to like the Keynote (slide) presentation, as it keeps me on track and will go through things that have to be said. My last slide will show a picture of the Sake (Dai-Ginjo) bottle I got in the "Japan town" in Paris, which I am serving tomorrow for those who will make and stay through my talk :)

I am also preparing for our first recording/experiment on Wednesday with Frédéric Bevilacqua, using the gesture follower in a musical context. We will start simply but try to get some concrete results; I am in the hands of one of the most brightest group of people, being so well situated; I feel so responsible and obligated to get things done as much as I can, while I can. Especially when my parents-in-law in Picardie are taking the heaviest load of the summer, the KIDS...

Husband came back to Paris so we went out for dinner. I spent all day working so it was a nice occasion. We decided to eat out as I hadn't done so since he left. We wondered into Jewish town; a lot of Kosher bakeries here--then went into Marais and found a restaurant. Husband did his usual menu evaluation, approved, so we sat down. When we were first married and lived near Antibe/Cannes (he worked at Sophia Antipolis, the 'silicon valley' of France) he used to drive me crazy looking for a place to eat. While I was starving and ready to dive into MacDonald's, he would read each and every menus of rows and rows of restaurants and do a detailed and comparative study: "This is for tourist, this one is too chic, this is too pretentious" etc. But I always trust the outcome, so no matter how hungry I am, I wait. Today he relatively quickly said 'yes' to this one, and he was right. It was perhaps the heaviest meal I had so far since arriving to Paris, but I took Piccata de veau with mushrooms; heavenly, heavenly "pleurotes" oyster mushrooms (and no doubt the second 'heaven' came from the obscene amount of 'beurre'). Then just to go all the way, just because I have a talk tomorrow, I had my first Crème Brulée this year, which was of course the best I've had in a long time. The cream part wasn't like a hard custard which they usually are, but was creamy... how do they do that? They recommended Cahors, which was just right. Then husband did what any tipsy French mathematicians would do at this point--show his wife "Caustics" (Caustique).

Day7: First Sunday, heavy thoughts, heavy butter

2010-06-13T15:38:00.018-04:00

Today I'm almost finishing my Keynote (slide) presentation for Tuesday. I finally have some chance to do things I didn't have time for. For example I just created a way so my score and interaction are coordinated; i.e. I don't need a music stand with a paper score now; I just watch the score scroll on the computer screen on its own! How convenient it is! Well, I am speaking specifically a piece written for my by Jean-Claude Risset, "Varients". It is made with carefully designed delay and pitch shifting schemes Jean-Claude wrote in MaxMSP with pre-determined timing. I just play along with the automatically changing effects, sort of like a play-along Karaoke with effects. It is a lot slicker than wearing a click-track headphone which is not necessary, and you can make it sound completely interactive by just watching the screen carefully with timing coordinating with the automated score.

After practicing, I went to Agora Festival at Cité de la Musique. I was remembering very fondly I was there at the opening of the center in 1995, invited to be the date with Jean-Claude Risset. Boulez conducted and I believe Mitterrand was there. Afterwards we went out for a crêpe outside, where my future husband met Jean-Claude for the first time. They quickly became friends as they are both 'Normaliens' - a French equivalent of Ivy league boy's club for those who attended the prestigious Ecole Normale Supérieure, or "Normale Sup" as they call it (I call it "Normal Soup"). I remember Jean-Claude told anecdotes such as when President Charles De Gaulle showed up for a formal dance party there. They had a broken staircase which they had no funds to fix, so they left it purposely uncovered for him to see. After his visit, it was fixed :)

The concert was the last day of Agora festival's 3-day focus "Tristan Murail", performed by Ensemble InterContemporain. It has been a while since I heard the ensemble. The concert was full; I first couldn't get the ticket so I waited until cancellation. The program included Murail works, Feldman's "Duration III", and a young Italian Marco Momi's electronic work. The performance was impeccably prepared and executed, as expected. However, I came home with rather a heavy heart. I couldn't shake the instinctive feeling of how us, musicians in this particular world of contemporary music, are becoming. For one thing, in France they call performer "interpreter" (interprète). But I feel the contemporary music today has become such that there is hardly any room for musicians even to "interpret", but we have become a vehicle to "execute" what has been commanded of us. From that point of view, Momi's extraordinarily prepared electronic piece entitled "Iconica" was brilliant. When a viola player made a slight noise by accidentally touching the microphone on her instrument, seemed to me like a criminal offense :) It's a joke, but I had to ask myself; what is the "raison d'être", the reason why performers should even exist anymore? I must be overly sensitive as a violinist/performer. But I still felt it. Oh and another thing, the audience seemed a lot more 'intellectual' than I'm used to, not to say NYC audiences are not! LOL! I'm saying this maybe because I overheard an audience member congratulating one of the performers, "Bravo, très bien, très INTELLIGENT". Maybe it means differently? Double meaning? But I for one haven't been congratulated after my performance for being "intelligent", and that is totally my fault. Now I have a goal to accomplish :)

Not lighter than this thought, is the pic for today. An unapologetic block of salted butter! "Beurre salé d'Isigny". It is not me, but my husband got it, and you will have to excuse him. After all he is French and has Normandy blood in him. I have seen the unsalted one at Zabars (they are very expensive), but haven't seen the salted one.

Day6: Old and new friends, no friend...

2010-06-12T18:38:00.007-04:00

The first Saturday--kind of a gray day to start so I practiced. I'm preparing for Tuesday's presentation and Subharmonics are quite healthy :) I should not break a string so that I don't have to change it! The age of the string has a lot to do with it, and usually hard to produce them when they are new. But often I do have to put new strings. And I do have a trick and a solution :) More later on that...

Struggled a bit with "Max for LIVE with gesture follower" example, as I'm using my husband's computer and things got shifted around, but finally I solved it. Husband went to help his brother and manning his two nephews both 6 yrs old just like ours, then went back to Picardie to our kids who are with the grandparents. On Skype Mamine (grandmother) was quite upset that our kids were fighting. I am thinking that my worries are coming true. It will be a long and hard summer for the parents, and I might have to find a different solution.... maybe sending one back to NYC with husband in July... I hope not.

Not a big gastronomic day except I enjoyed a tarte au pomme my husband got, and we shared it for snack. I decided for the first time I will give my talk properly using Keynotes application. This is rather a formal occasion and I cannot just babble along like I usually do to college kids. I'm slow in doing this, and I will have to go back and forth between a few different software during the talk, but it does look nicer and organized... Time to grow up finally, I guess.

In the evening I went to a concert given by an old friend, percussionist Lê Quan Ninh, with a Japanese dancer named Moeno Wakamatsu, at Tenri Cultural Association French-Japanese. The dance was entitled "Crossing the Senzu River". Just her dancing very slowly almost like Noh, and Ninh playing one drum. He made so much variety of sound worlds that any electronic music I've heard using multi-million $ equipment makes them sound so simple and dull. What a guy. "Senzu River" is the Japanese or Buddhist version of River Styx. The performance started in pitch dark, in this small cave-like venue. It was very, very spooky and at times I felt like I was seeing my future crossing that river myself!!! Yikes!

I met Moeno after the performance and found that she just had a baby 1+1/2 months ago. I did perform in Sevilla/Granada in Spain when my daughter was 2 months old, but didn't contort my body folding it in two nor holding my body horizontally up for extended amount of time, which I cannot do it anyway, with or without having a baby. She is crazy! But very very well done. I also met Ninh's friends from other countries in the audience. Paris resembles NYC; people come from everywhere to be here, to be in art. I feel very at home. The photo below, is a sad and strange one. There is a man who sits just below my window all day long. He comes in the morning, and he leaves around 6PM, just like going to work. He eats there, but not reading nor doing anything else but just sits. Future Sartre? Or one of those poor men who cannot tell his family that he lost a job and spends all day elsewhere? I'm afraid I won't be his friend though.... It's the guy with blue shoes.

Day5: At home, Sake and family

2010-06-11T19:37:00.009-04:00

I'm getting into a routine: I get up in the morning, have a sizable breakfast, do what I have to do then head to IRCAM and meet people or do what I have to do. Today I ran my pieces for the Tuesday's upcoming demo/talk; all is working. Thanks to Bruno who worked with me on the day of my arrival all my older pieces using the gesture follower seems to work fine. Whew! Now I have to make sure I will not break anything until Tuesday! :)

My computer broke last week, less than a week before I came to Paris. They had fixed it (logic board failure) and sent it FedEx, and we now know it is sitting at the customs. We were warned that French "Douane" customs will try to make us pay the taxes, 1/3 of the price of the computer (the store has to insure it). My brave and able husband had already took on the task to wrestle with the French bureaucracy for me, which I am so grateful for... I would have just given up and pay the hefty fee... He was told to write a letter explaining the situation (in French of course) and bring all the documents which I had prepared including the proof of purchase in 2008 from Apple etc. He is rolling up his sleeves ready to fight. The store (Tekserve) said at the most we shouldn't have to pay more than the 1/3 of the service fee $390, but husband thinks even that is not right.

Anyway this is our first weekend in Paris and we prepared ourselves a small lunch, Terrine de Lièvre à l'Armagnac (rabbit paté) with Cidre left over. Then I went to IRCAM and sheepishly went back to Laurant, the formidable computer scientist of IRCAM's IT system. "I'm sooorryyyy.... I forgot my password..." I must have looked so sheepish that he took pity on me saying, "Don't be afraid!" I got my password back. Then I mailed my first package out from IRCAM to Radio France, several CDs as requested for my upcoming interview there in a few weeks.

After that with some recommendation and information on the Japanese Consulate online, we went to a Japanese store called Jujiya where I found basic everything that's Japanese food. We bought some bottles of Sake for the reception I'm planning after my talk on Tuesday. We took a bottle also for the evening at my brother-in-laws' where we met with two of his brothers and their wives. After a glass of beer, celebratory Champagne, then Sake, it was amazing I still followed their conversation thanks to Berlitz intensive classes. But maybe because the subjects were awfully familiar; we are all working parents and issues are universal. Husband carefully made canapé with fish roe, smoke salmon etc. and arranged it geometrically. As a geometer he would expect nothing less of himself, and it was delicious :) The table looked like this before we started to eat.

Day4: wrestling with French bureaucracy

2010-06-10T16:52:00.015-04:00

Well, today was rainy and I spent the morning preparing for the talk I will give on Tuesday. Then went online to check some Japanese store to get some Sake; I'm giving a little reception after the talk, in the spirit of "cultural exchange". I was told it is very unusual and I should absolutely do it. Then it occurred to me IRCAM is a government building and thought I could get in trouble serving alcohol (!?), and asked if it's OK. I got a "ROTFL" response (rolling-on-the-floor-laughing). When they stopped rolling they said, "Welcome to France!" I think I will go Sake shopping this weekend.

Husband came back from Picardie leaving the kids with his parents; kids are absolutely in the greatest hands and I am so grateful to the parents making my kids' stay wonderful, and letting me stay in Paris and work. We went to La Poste, the national post office combined with a bank where one of my husband's account has been. It's our European account so it's better for our IRCAM account settling here. Then we were met with this gigantic wall of bureaucracy taking a form of one chubby French bureaucrat in a purple shirt. Nothing against him or the shirt, but here is the verdict. Husband cannot ask for a credit card to his own account, because he doesn't live here. I cannot have my name listed although his name is on my Japanese passport, we have our marriage license (we got married in France), and we have the same home address in New York. We cannot close the account in Paris because it was opened near Nice where we lived 12 years ago. However there was no rule to DEPOSIT; I could deposit, but I cannot take it out! Only solution is for my husband to get a Debit card, AND for him to personally go to Nice and close the checking account (or do that by mail I guess).

Anyway, after that we went to IRCAM continuing setting myself up, today I attacked my IRCAM email/computer account. The formidable and very very nice computer scientist Laurant worked with me to come up with an iron-clad password; he said IRCAM system is directly connected to the highest level of security of the country, and has to be very good. After 5th or 6th rejection of my password Laurant finally approved, but didn't allow me to write it down. I confidently said "I have a photographic memory" and was OK. Then on the way out, of course I forgot. Oh well.

Before all this, we had a fantastic, my first Couscous meal in Paris this time. 18euro for all this, starting with a complementary Kir with a hot "amuse-bouche", followed by two courses then a desert with Thé à la Menthe. Heavenly....

Oh and yes I did make my usual stop to San Marina shoes store in Les Halles, while husband hit the Fnac and sipped his coffee. This is a church, so please skip this picture if you don't belong :) I can't help it myself!

Day3: Improvisation, turns into a structure

2010-06-09T12:24:00.015-04:00

I spoke too early. Husband didn't just 'give' me the BHV card. He had connected that to our account in La Poste, where I will be paid from IRCAM! Ha! So I cannot spend more that I earn. He wasn't resigned to the fact his Japanese wife can't help herself living near a department store. He has put a break to it saving our bank accounts! See I didn't marry this man for nothing.

Today I spent the morning in my studio practicing a bit, then went to IRCAM. I was just going to receive my 'magic' IRCAM card and my key, then basically see some faces and come right back. At IRCAM, all offices have clear window/door; there is little privacy. So when I found Nobert Schnell, one of my main hosts at IRCAM and started to chat, Nicolas Rasamimanana, a bright violinist/researcher, a former PhD student joined, then probably hearing my loud English Frédéric Bevilacqua, another main researcher joined. We were then hanging around talking casually, then we started to speak of when to have a planning meeting.

Then I realized this is dangerously close to what I have experienced in Japan; some people would schedule a meeting just to schedule the next meeting! We were all there, minus Bruno whom I saw, spoke to and worked with on the first day. I said to myself, "Well the team is HERE, aren't they" And this impromptu chatting became quite a serious strategy meeting on the spot, coming up with the immediate goals what has to be done and the timeline for the next week or two. People at IRCAM are so busy and one must grab any moment and person to get things done; I have been learning this in the matter of two days :) So this improvised meeting became a structural and organizational meeting on the spot.

I had forgotten to eat lunch so I grabbed a sandwich then passed by my first Paris Farmer's market in a nearby square. I just had to buy those little juicy French strawberries. Here they are, with a huge French breakfast coffee bowl I got, 2 for 7 euros (in this photo I put Kusmi Earl Gray tea). My hand was doing a relay between these strawberries and my mouth, a lot faster than Michael Phelps could swim!

In the evening I joined Norbert to go to one of the Agora festival concert, entitled "Emergence, Young Artists" at an enormous new art complex called Centquatre (you can click on the cool 3D map!) way up north in 10e arr. They say it was a centralized municipal funeral center since the 19c until the 70s! At the concert, there were two young composers whose work used ear-piece (click track?), then older piece by Scelsi "Pranam II" and a surprising Tristan Murail's electric guitar piece called "Vampyr!" performed by a very attractive electric guitarist named
Christelle Séry (I couldn't find one in English). This iPhone photo doesn't do her justice, but I think she is just about the only female electric guitarist I've seen who can do contemporary new music. And I enjoyed the piece enormously, AND her fashion as well as her playing; a true slick Parisienne. She was just "Trop Cool!" as my son would say :)

Day2: Cités International des Arts and the 'magic' cards

2010-06-08T17:28:00.013-04:00

This is a very busy week for IRCAM, as they are organizing Agora festival in Paris. I knew about this long ago and planned to use this week as a 'set up' week for myself and the family, which seems to be working well. After Bruno set me up with the new version of the Augmented Violin software, I came back to my studio apartment at Cités International des Arts and was able to run some of my demos for next week; I will be giving a lecture for the IRCAM community (though open for public, so please let me know if any of you want to come, I have to put your names on the list). It is on Tuesday, June 15th at 12h-13h at Salle Stravinsky, IRCAM (1, Place Igor-Stravinsky in front of the 'Miro' foundtain). BTW my husband said "C'est completement MIRO" in French means "it's crazy".

I am realizing that I now am being thrown back into the memories of my student era, where I lived carefree without commitment. I have a studio to myself,

only 390EURO/months in this wonderful location at Cités International des Arts, where typically foreign (French too) art/music students stay. However, I am not in the big concrete bar building, but in "Annexe" where it is a lot quieter. I hardly see anyone and hear anything, except occasional harp and jazz piano. The building looks as if this was an old Hôtel Particulier with a courtyard.

This is the staircase just in front of my room. I love the old wood beams with white plaster. And this is the wall and the ceiling of my room. The computer seems like an odd contrast! I think this is Europe--old and new live together. Here I am under the old wooden beams, running wireless remote control with Ethernet receiver, waiving my 3-dimentional sensor on my bow arm.

Husband is back in Picardie for the 1st day of school for the kids; they are attending a local French public school for almost a month. This is the "sink or swim" total immersion for them, which I know is hard but was done to me when I was 4 yrs old in English. I still remember coming home to my mom in Ottawa asking in Japanese, "They are all coming at me saying 'Whacha name'. What does that mean!?". Well husband tells me my 9 yr old daughter already made a friend with a girl named Silvie, and when I spoke to my 6 yr old son on Skype this evening, he started, "Bonjour, Maman!". Oh well. They are ahead of me.

The Cités gave me a photo ID today that opens the doors of more than 40 museums in Paris, for FREE. I don't see Louvre on the list, but D'orsay, D'Art Moderne, Picasso, etc. It's fantastic and this promises to be so valuable. I am also getting the IRCAM card, which also opens a lot of doors in Paris it seems. France is so centralized to Paris, as Tokyo is so in Japan, and not like USA. Now I am armed with two magic cards. And the BHV card.

My violin sounds very nice in this room of plaster and wood. I am starting to work very hard on the 'mystery' new Subharmonic interval which went away (I lost it... couldn't produce anymore since a few weeks ago). It usually comes back, then goes away, and this back and forth - gaining and losing - gets shorter and shorter. This is how I learned to play Subharmonic octave and the 3rd.

Late bloomer: Life in Paris Summer 2010

2010-06-07T17:55:00.022-04:00

I started my summer in Paris yesterday, so I decided to blog about my work at IRCAM as a Composer in Residence in musical research. It will also help me to chronicle my progress to keep myself in check, I hope! Of course, I don't know how you can be in Paris without talking about food/culture, so this is my first meal in Paris yesterday, at a Crêperie in front of IRCAM. And of course with Cidre.

June 5th: I didn't even say goodbye to kids, who were whisked away to the grandparents directly from the CDG airport which I knew to be the right thing to do (avoiding ’Wagnerian’ prolonged tragic moments). 　On this first day in Paris for the summer, I'm giving myself a generous 'A': my son peacefully slept throughout the flight on my lap: thus I couldn't sleep well. Despite the lack of sleep, I met and greeted many people at IRCAM, and even worked a little with fabulous Bruno Zimborlin, a PhD student at IRCAM who has been helping me with the Augmented Violin system 'transatlantic' for the past year. There is a new version of the IRCAM software, which I was not able to fix on my own. Within about 20 minutes, everything was up and running! This residency is SO worth it!!

We were quite tired from jetlag, but still my husband and I even saw his former colleague and his wife from INRIA Sophia Antipolis for dinner, who now is a professor at Univ of Athens. This is Salade Landaise with Magret de Canard and fois gras, one of the best ones I've had in a while. Or maybe I was just very, very hungry. It is a restaurant near Faidherbe Chaligny metro station at 11e arrondissement, where his wife works as a doctor.

Husband gets A+ as he got cell phones+internet working after only a few hours of our arrival, and he even showed true love by setting me up with BHV card! Or rather, he is a husband who realizes that he is married to a Japanese woman, who can't help herself in an environment like BHV which is dangerously close to where she lives, so he has taken the initiative to minimize the damage as quickly as possible. (this card got some discounts that comes with it) Aside from all this, I spent time looking up at beautiful architecture, and looking down more intensively at shoes Parisienne are wearing.

I am truly grateful for this late-blooming "live in Paris" experience which I probably should have done two decades ago. But I'm feeling happier about where the stage of both my personal and professional life is, and being at IRCAM in this particular capacity as a Composer in Residence. Also I am far from being completely fluent, but my French is a lot better; at least now I speak "I am married to a Frenchman" French. I don't even call anymore a convertible car: "Voiture Décapitable" ("guillotined" car, husband still laughs at me for it) which should be "décapotable" (hats-off).

Food intermission: Buceo 95

2010-05-17T03:02:00.004-04:00

I am finally, finally almost done with mastering my new solo CD coming out from Mutable Music Label. It has been going on for a few years, on and off, and I had to go away from thinking about it and now I can listen to the pieces again. I spent the past few weeks working really hard; when I work on mastering my CD I spend a lot of time listening to it, almost feel like performing over and over again while doing so. I'm exhausted. So, I had a rare dinner out 'sans' kids with violist friend Liuh-Wen Ting and her husband Marshall at Buceo 95 Spanish Tapas. Great calamari, pulpo, but the best was pork belly. And the very interesting Spanish Rosé called Tondonia, which was VERY much approved by my French husband :) Liuh-Wen is the person who introduced me to him; he is also a [very good!] amateur viola player. Tomorrow, I'll go back to reading, guess what, Moskowski duo (!) which I'm playing with Muneko Otani, the 1st violinist of the Cassatt Quartet next Sunday at our kids' piano recital!

End of Season: Lotteries, the Earth, and...something new

2010-05-09T00:42:00.015-04:00

So here we are after yet another long hiatus, back to blogging again. Now at the end of the academic year, a lot has happened in the past 6 months! Good news: I won two 'lotteries', a 2010 Composer in Residency in musical research at IRCAM in Paris, and 2010 Guggenheim Fellowship in music composition. Bad news: I got 3 herniated discs in my neck and took 6 long months of physical therapy and traction to put it back together. The picture above is my co-fellow this year, composer/Korean Komungo virtuoso Jin Hi Kim at the Guggenheim Foundation reception this week.

At the Guggenheim reception, I got to speak with many interesting people from many different disciplines which was very inspiring. Many guests were this year's Fellows, but there were some old-timers. One person I had an interesting conversation with, was a person named Dennis Hayes, Prof. Emeritus at Columbia Univ. in the Dept. of Earth and Environmental Science. He is now at Lamont-Doherty Earth Observatory and observing the earthquakes, volcano etc around the world. Prof. Hayes was very interested in my subharmonics, string frictions and torsion of the string etc. and wanted to learn more. He asked me to send him some stuff. I have been thinking the earth seems to be twisting lately. Anything that my little violin would help the earth research...

We are leaving NYC in early June until early September, putting my two kids into French public schools thanks to their hosts, my parents-in-law. This is the sink-or-swim, learning French summer for the kids. I'm very anxious how they would do but it's for their own good! Or so I hope... I will be working with the Realtime Musical Interaction Team at IRCAM, finally getting to sit next to those very bright people and try to get the bowing tracking issues advanced. I will post my progress periodically, I promise myself!

A last note: there is something I think I can 'announce' pretty soon :) or so I hope. I think I'm achieving a new Subharmonic interval. I have been working on it intensively for the past few days and it seems to be coming fast. Still unstable and not presentable... That means my poor husband has been putting up with my annoying practicing day in and day out. I'm sure it is not pleasant to listen to!

New: adding to the last note, after the Guggenheim reception, Jin Hi Kim invited me to join her for clothes shopping, to the designer she is wearing in this photo, Nadya, since I thought it was very beautiful. Nadya was showing in a hotel room at Beacon Hotel so we came back to the Upper Westside and both allowed ourselves to buy our celebratory items, for PERFORMANCE use! (deductible!! :) Then Jin Hi came over to my home nearby for a take-out Indian food. A very nice time spent together on our special day.